No, No... Bad Dao

long lost internet posts vol 2

2011-02-03T12:11:00.002-06:00

oct 31, 2007

Aaaaawwwww Shit

Current mood:indifferent

Good day to you and Happy Halloween.

Last night I had one of those nights where it all seemed to have gone terribly wrong. Somewhere within the twilight began an emotional rollercoaster that I don't remember purchasing tickets for. The Child was throwing tantrum after ungodly tanrum, full body throwing on the floor, hands flailing and the like. They would not end. And I have no clue where they were coming from, so there was nothing I could do but walk away. Thats the smart thing, right? Cuz last time I checked, you're still not supposed to shake the shit out of them.

However, I was Saved by a Friend, some music, a Sister and escape.... the night turned itself around. Became enjoyable. I came home to a beautiful, sleeping child. And I woke this a.m. thinking, today, today will be better. All is erased, and we have started over. Awesome.

And then I got in a car accident.

8:40am, kid melting down in the backseat about the sun in her eyes, I slammed into the car infront of me. Word up. Thanks Halloween. Thanks Mercury in Retrograde. Thanks to my 1/2caffinated self for not paying close enough attention.

The last time I felt this way was 10 years ago, the morning of my 20th birthday, when i rear-ended someone after sliding on black ice. The night before I had died my hair hot pink, as the last hurrah for my "teenage" years and hated it. I ended up with 1/4in shaved head & raw scalp from trying to wash it all out. I got all fucked up from not wearing my seatbelt and the first person to wish me happy birthday was the cop as he handed me back my license & my ticket. He also happened to be my mother's former high school boyfriend. Thank you small town & good times.

So, thats it for me today. No one is injured this time, the car is being repaired as we speak, and I am keep my lunch date with an old friend.

So, I hope your Halloween is better, I hope on this last day of Mercury in Retrograde you can escape unscathed. Tomorrow.... tomorrow is yet another day, but I'm gonna see if I can't get out there and keep THIS DAY from kicking my ass on PRINCIPLE.

-over and out-

feb 12, 2008

31 Bitches!

Current mood:adventurous

I don't know what's happened to me.... but for forever and a day i have greatly disliked my birthday. Not in the, "I hate my birthday.... (wish me happy birthday)" kinda way, but in the all out, acting out, somwhat rage-filled, antsy disgust kinda way. And I know that bothers people, i get that. But whatever, for the most part its just another day anyway, and whats in a number blah blah blah.

And then last year, I could feel my excitement brewing months before the big day. Some people freak out at the mere thought of getting older, and I looked 30 in the face and was never happier. I have never felt better (for the most part) and really feel like I am finally coming into my own.

So here we are, on the eve of 31, and again.... things feel good. I am not trying to skip out on a party, or ignore plans that are arising.... I feel GOOD. And this time, I AM getting tattooed again. Last year never came to fruition with the move and all, but i am in the throws of actively pursuing an artist and we will be off and running.

Oh, and did I mention its been 43 days since I had a drink? Or that I have been going to the gym 6 days a week for the past 5 weeks? We'll see where this leads me.....

Clarity.... its interesting.
-over and out-

long lost internet postings

2011-02-03T12:01:00.002-06:00

So, its not super amusing, or insightful, but i totally spaced on still having a myspace profile (can you believe it?!?!?) and after taking quite some time to come up with the correct email/password combo so i could go in and delete it, i had forgotten that i had taken to blogging there rather than here. SO, for the sake of keeping my bizzaro thoughts in once place so that when i am feeble minded and in a nursing home i can have some memory of what my life was like on the "outside" and in my youth, i am adding those posts here. Not that they are worth it. I just have a hard time deleting the written word and letting it all slip into the ether. hmmmmm

jan 12, 2007

This is my confession angel, lets not make too much about it

Current mood:amused

never thought I'd use this... one blog is already too much for me to handle. But here I go...

My memories are totally controlled by music... while packing today, i picked up congregation by the whigs and thru it in. Its been awhile since last listen, and the fucking floodgates opened.....memories of where i was, how I got this album and what my life was like at the time started rushing back..... Barely 16, and my waaaaaayyy too old for me, cradle-robbing boyfriend of 28, gave me this album after previously putting the most suggestive songs on a mix tape. Now, its true, he was old enough to know better... I was just dumb enough not to care... What I couldnt see then, I saw in time... but this album started my now 14 year-strong love affair with any music Greg Dulli puts out. I own it all, love it all, and have one hell of a sordid situation to thank for getting it to me.

aahh the memories.

jan 24, 2007

even when its empty

Current mood:thoughtful

Yesterday I filled in one of my fav clients that I'm moving, and I got the best compliment....

He said he's bummed because I am one of the only people he knows who always tries to see the "glass as half-full." He followed that with: "Even when the glass is empty, I bet you still see it as half-full." And then he tipped me 50bucks. Now that's hot.

I like being veiwed as optimistic, because in all honesty, that's more of who I am.... how I want to be. There are a million patterns of behavior that are so worth breaking, and all I know is I'm gonna try my best.

These days my darkness is much more quiet and still. It resides in the gentle pauses, moments in between..... lurking, mysterious. Bringing comfort, yet safer when its caged.

I never claimed I wanted things to be easy. I guess we all get our wish.

jan 26, 2007

Peer Pressure

Current mood:bouncy

Just fer cuz.... Because I can, and I know it will make you laugh. Because I know I drive you nuts and you let me. And because you give up and let me win.... THANKS FOR:

~ making turning 30 seem like 19 again (but without all the drama)
~ being just crazy enough. You know, to keep up with me, not get arrested, bring me outta my shell
~ this is the only time I will admit this: for stealing that notebook in chem. and starting all this.
~ getting our nails did & cornrows at rolling acres
~ giving in and liking The Afghan Whigs. could you even imagine what the last 10 years would have been like without that? fer realz
~New Orleans, pan handling, camel wide lights, and taking a sober ride from a drunk cabdriver to avoid crackhead bob. you know... GOOD TIMES.
~ always having my back, and never judging me....even when i am being totally fucking insane
~ not minding too much when i stopped drinking gin
~ figuring out how to make me eat
~ never holding a grudge
~ making me steal that jacket. I both love and hate that night, and drunk as I was will never forget it as long as i live.
~ getting me to tweeze my eyebrows. SERIOUSLY, that was some scary ass shit
~ joining me on just about every music adventure. except Hamell on Trial. And I will give you that because sometimes, sometimes even I am just smart enough to know when you won't budge
~ Shoes for Pants, peepee pants, AND not hating me when i (still) think its so funny i tell everyone and laugh till i cry. (Poor Uncle, how could he even stand us on that trip?!?!).
~ joining myspace so I can have yet one more way to bug the living shit out of you till we are so old our arthritis keeps the keys from clicking.

and last but certainly not least... taking the baby bet. If that's not the truest test of BFF, I don't know what the f is.

Welcome to the internet. ;-)

march 7 2007

Keepin it real.... Real Crazy.

Current mood:determined

Its 7am and I just tricked my kid into going back to sleep. Hopefully it will work for a few extra minutes or I fear I may never blog again. I will admit it.... moving is insane! Why have I not chosen easy moves in my life? Why does it always have to be well over a few hundred miles minimum for me to feel like its all been worth it?

And don't even get me started on how weird it feels having moved back to my hometown after all this time. I see people all over, and I think they look like people I used to know back in LA or Chicago. And we are now under yet another blanket of snow... looks like somewhere around 4 in, and what I wouldn't give for some balmy weather and palm trees. Blah.

Moving into an old drafty crazy house brings its own joys and miseries, and last week had me at the threshold of hell somwhere around my 30th trip to the hardware store, thankgod for What?!? coming in town and explaining all this shit to me I would have needed a vacation. You know, in the Bin. Home improvement and seasonal depression mixes not. So rather than medicating with alcohol, which I would normally resort to, I chose sugar, and somehow still managed to act like a crackhead and lose 4lbs. Who knows how these things happen, but they do.

Evreything seems somewhat back to normal, or at least my bedroom is now unpacked and I can find clean clothes. No more excuses as to why I wasn't bothering to take a shower for a few days there. Whoops! And I decided that while Mercury is ending its retrograde I will abstain from any home improvement projects... at least until the special order screws are in for the door. Who knew 3in wood doors aren't made anymore, neither is the hardware to fit them? I do now.

Now I have to decide how I am going to shovel out all this snow so I can get the kid to the sitters and make my meeting to hammer out all the details of my new job. Important details... like money and when my benefits kick in, so my husband can quit his freaking job and live with us full-time.

Easy is NOT my middle name.

Silence is Golden

2010-08-06T13:15:00.002-05:00

Wanna know how I know? I never have it. Ever. Someone is always talking to me, yelling at me, needing something, looking for something. Its absolutely constant from the moment feet hit the floor in the morning to the moment I tuck them into bed at night. I cannot formulate a thought of my own, complete a sentence or make a phone call without immediate interruption. At the moment of this writing I have been interrupted no less than 5 times and I haven't even completed 5 sentences AND only 1 of my children is currently awake.

Do you understand where I am coming from?

Imagine that every day, all day, someone wanted/needed something from you. their shit, a conversation, food, drink, clothes, etc. And every moment you turned around to start helping, responding etc, the next thing is being thrown at you as well. Where would your brain be by the end of the day?

that's what i thought.

My question is... how the hell can you get some peace and quiet along the way? Oh yeah, i tried engaging them. We went outside this morning and played in the playhouse, rode bikes, painted AND played with play-dough. And you know its serious when i break out the play dough because I hate that stuff. its disgusting. from the texture to the smell to the way it hides under your nails, its revolting. But i did it. I acted like the parent and I put aside my distaste and played with it to make the kids happy......

so who is gonna sacrifice for the next round? Because I covered all that before lunch time and I got nothin left now. And lunch prep? I had been asked for 2 days to make hummus. So today for lunch, I make hummus. Cut veggies. Super healthy right? Lunch looks lovely, and they screamed and yelled and beat doors and called for DAAAAAAADDDYYYYYYY! the whole time, and yet I kept my shit together and did not give up and just throw some hotdogs on a plate with some ketchup as their "vegetable"... no... I made it all. from scratch. took less than 1/2 hour to get it all together and on the table.....

"did you put pepper in the hummus? It seems spicy to me."

"momma, do you know how i like to eat my hummus? just a little tiny dab on just a few of my carrots."

"hummus is good sometimes. like when you make those hummus sandwiches with the cucumbers and cheese and stuff? I like that."

So, I did what any reasonable parent in my situation would do. I sent a text to my work at home husband that said: please come down right now and sit with your kids while they eat lunch. I must go walk around the block RIGHT NOW.

because at that moment, i was running the risk of having my kids watch me smash the bowl of lovingly made hummus on the kitchen floor, punch myself in the face, and walk out the door with no idea as to how or when i might return.

ya feel me? anyone? no?

ok, I guess its just me then. Oh well.

In other news:

I've made some new friends up in the hood, and tonight we are getting our kids together to play while we sit around and have adult conversation. Can you believe it?!?!?! YEA!

-over and out-

You wanna know about Vomit? I gotcha, covered in it...

2010-07-01T16:43:00.003-05:00

Carter Clan family vacation, June/July 2010:

Here's the trip in numbers so far:

Its week 1 of 2 1/2, and we have had nothing but insanity and barfing so far. Tomorrow we will embark on a road trip to San Jose/San Fran for the July 4th weekend, and it will be interesting to see how these barfing adventures continue to develop.

~ 1 trip to the Dr (FJ) for a severe fever & rash that turned out to be a virus. Thank god we maintained a friendship with the Dr that delivered Elliott, because what do you do in situations like that on vacation? Go to the hospital? good lord, that sounds AWESOME, sign me up.
~2 kids that get carsick, and the virus that included vomiting equals:
~5, the number of times Kris has been barfed on. And all i know is: I am super good at cleaning up vomit. however, barf ON me and watch my head explode. So he had to take a few for the team... well..... I'm a stay at home mom, so I guess for right now, maybe we are even. LOL
~ 6, the number of barfing adventures so far. Elliott can only be blamed for 1 of them, as we stopped and got her out of the car in time to prevent an additional 3 other episodes thus far. I am not even sure I have enough barf bags to cover us for the rate of vomit happening around here. I swiped every barf bag in reach on both flights it took for us to reach this destination, and i am thinking I may have to try and raid a plane when i take the rental car back to the airport next week. This is insane... do they sell barf bags to the general public? Oh excuse me, Personal Sickness Bag. That better?

All in all, despite all the scrambling for little white airline sickness bags like a frantic crack addict searching for that last little white rock, this trip so far has been, (dare I say it) relaxing, and I actually feel like I am on vacation. At moments I wonder why i moved from here in the 1st place, and then I see the reminders of a few thousand too many people living in this city, and I hit mid-afternoon traffic that equals the level of the Akron-Cleveland rush hour commute and I think..... ahhhhh. Riiight. Painful. And more barfing.

Seriously, if I lived here with kids I would literally NEVER be able to go anywhere unless we drove there at 1pm, returned home at 9pm and NEVER HAD TO TAKE THE 405.

In Other News:

Quite a few people have been asking me about this blog, if I still write, what I am going to do with all this. And I think yesterday, with the help of the brainstorming of my super gal-pal Jayka, and my home girl Yucca, I have a plan. And the plan may include a book. And that book may, most likely be titled: I Will Not Harm You, But I Will Harm Everything That Brings You Comfort.

Because, while navigating this thing called parenting, it's always helpful to be just crazy enough. Am I right? LOL.

Would YOU buy it?

The Winds of Change

2010-03-23T12:16:00.002-05:00

Its 2010. I know, what the hell? is exactly what I thought too. Followed quickly by: And mid-March already? Girl, what the hell have you been doing?!?!

Um, staying alive? With a little itty bit of my sanity? This winter has been the roughest yet of all the midwest winters since moving in 2004. The cold, the snow, the hardships. I look in the mirror and I see new lines on my face, a little more rough around the edges... a little more character. And then Spring arrives, and poof, all the weight is lifted, takes flight. maybe this weight was a gift, like i had to see what I could lift.... and so i think to myself, with all this changing rapidly, What was I so bent out of shape for? Who knows and who cares, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and its all arriving right on time.

And then I realized, everything is always right on time if you show up. Who knew?

Life's constantly in motion, and i know not where your path will take you. Most days I barely know where mine is leading, I just keep putting 1 foot in front of the other and hoping for mostly solid ground.

And speaking of solid ground, this is the year that we are tearing the shit up outta this yard, and making our own garden, our little bit of city land is gonna be all shaped up and exactly what we were lookin for.

There is excitement around every corner these days.... spring, summer, vacations, new landscaping, family, friends, food, laughter.... and I am just gonna ride this tidal wave and bask in the glory of it all....

and on the days like today, where it went a little to the cold side, and the spring rain is rushing down, there's always tanning and my ipod to get me through. Because no matter what, I'm on the other side.....

--over and out-

Gettin it done...

2009-12-22T20:51:00.002-06:00

Tonight there was a laundry list of things to do for the impending holiday.... laundry, cleaning, organizing, finding recipes, baking cookies, and then I wanted to color my hair. You know, gotta have a fresh 'do in all those fine holiday photos I know my mother will be taking. ;) (j/k, ya know i love ya ma).

Anywhoo.... I was in the bathroom getting the needed hair coloring accessories together, Frankie being freshly put to bed. Fer & Elliott were just settling in to watch Elle's newly acquired Muppet Movie (courtesy of margie!) and little miss franklin mint carter started to have a glorious meltdown. Kris and Elliott heard said meltdown on the monitor and I could hear Elle's stompy-stomp feet (which she inherited from her father) on the stairs.....

Does she rush into her sister's room to assess the situation and aide her in drifting off to a good night's sleep? Not a chance! She throws open the bathroom door and shouts:

"Mommy! I found this pom (pacifer) downstairs! Daddy said I could bring it up to Frankie and give it to her so she can sleep! It is THE GREATEST BIG GIRL THING I HAVE EVER DONE SO FAR!"

and off she went.

Did Frankie calm down and fall asleep soundly after the visit from her sister? I think not. I went in to see what the problem was and Elle had left the nightlight on, which is an absolute no-no if you want FJ to EVER fall asleep. Kris meets me upstairs, hip to the nightlight situation from elle, who apparently "couldn't turn the light out, Frankie would be too scared of the dark."

That first born I have?... that is one freaking tender-hearted little kid. She must get that from her father.

In other news:
1 mister Ed Hamell aka Hamell on Trial was here all weekend... hanging, recording.... regrouping. I have a million things i could tell you about from the weekend, but I need to gather my thoughts to do so, and frankly, these Brandy Alexanders Wayne sent to us have those thoughts a little foggy right about now, so I'll get back at'cha.

-over and out-

On a wing and a prayer...

2009-12-18T12:11:00.002-06:00

Somehow it seems that's how it all comes together. Right? I know its super douche-y of me to boil it all down to a Bon Jovi lyric, but really, I guess sometimes it's all ya got.

Because of this, I am super happy this holiday season. I am grateful, delighted, and in love with just about everything and everyone around me. And when I'm not, I am gonna try and find another way to look at it and see if there's a glimmer left in there to turn the tables and get on the "Yea train".

I know it's hard, and I know it's a departure from the usual grumpy-pants nay-saying that tends to come outta my mouth. And sometimes it's funny, and sometimes I like being that person... the snarky one... but this time around? This year? Nah, that's not for me.

See these cycles? I'm breakin' 'em. That however does not mean that you won't find me head first into a glass of wine these days, not in the bottle mind you, but yes, I will take a nip, just to take the edge off. 'Cause after this year, if that's what I got, so be it. I could feel guilty, but it boils down to the fact that, well, this time I don't.

2010 is gonna be better. good things are afloat. there's love all around. And this year? This year we are gonna go on a VACATION. I don't know what, I don't know when, I don't know how, but so help me god, we are gonna go on a kid-free, beach loving, sand and swimming, sleep in late VACATION.

And if that can't put a smile on my face, nothing will.

In Other News:
General Hospital is just soooooooo original in their naming of characters... in case you didn't notice, the guest starring role of sociopath/serial killer/artist FRANCO is being played by none other than James Franco. just to make sure all you house wives that don't get out to see movies can properly google image search the correct actor and see how GH is blowing all your other daytime soaps outta the water. Maybe James Franco is teaming up with Tracy Jordan and they're in a race to see who can EGOT first. LMAO.

-over and out-

Little bup-bup....

2009-11-24T19:00:00.004-06:00

Oh little miss Frankie Jane. You turn 1 year old today. I can't honestly believe that it was only 1 short year ago that I was sitting in the hospital, holding you in my arms, and worrying about how your sister was taking to all this. You, whose labor was a piece of cake overall, which is no small thing for going at it without any drugs... who came into this world so quiet, and then, when you were ready, let out an earsplitting scream.... which you use to your advantage to this day. You, who came in matching your sister, pound for pound and inch for inch, 7 days overdue... just to insure you were not to be outdone by your big sister. Already so new and so demanding. You, with the 4 months of colic, which threw me for a loop, I won't lie, and at times made me question my ability to even be a parent.... this year has seemed so short, and yet so long. So many things have happened, and so many things have stayed the same. And that is what you will spend the rest of your life learning... so many new things happen, so many stay the same.

You are so feisty, so full of fire. Quick to laugh and quick to cry, always wanting your way in between. Already knowing that your sister is trying to get one up on you, and already figuring out how to make it all work to your advantage.

And walking. Almost running, just to keep up with what's going on, where everyone else is going.
No doubt you will spend a lifetime doing this exact same thing, and I will try and be there to pick you up when you fall, just like I am now.

Frankie Jane, Frankenfurter, Franklin Mint, little bup-bup, bubbie.... its no wonder you never answer to your name, we have so many for you, but all they mean is: LOVE.

Happy Birthday Little One.
Love,
Mama

it hurts me more than it hurts you....

2009-11-20T08:34:00.002-06:00

Elliott turned 5 in August, which means that this fall she started kindergarten. And being that we don't really have any friends with kids that are older than ours, no one really hipped us to the fact that school changes everything. EVERYTHING.

I mean, I could go on and on about the selfish reasons for why its changed everything... we can't just pick up and go on vacation or a long weekend away whenever we feel like it. I can't roll out of bed whenever I want and get her to school sometime between 9 and 10 because it feels better not to rush in the mornings. No. Now there are things like tardy bells, morning announcements, classroom disruption and sick days.

What the what?!?!?!?

Oh yeah, its been a blast, let me tell you. But also, the thing no one has told you about? Kindergarten? Its not all coloring and play time and lets all get cozy hear a story and take a nap. NOPE. They actually expect the kids to learn! Can you believe it?!?!? LOL. Oh yeah, kindergarten these days is what I remember as 1st grade. Reading, writing, math and science. Elliott's a champ and has really taken to it all. She is already reading harder text and longer books, adding all the time, and really interested in science and "experiements." (Which means I have to now put just about anything liquid under lock and key... she's also into cooking shows on TV, so its like a double-whammy disaster of liquid proportions that I have to fend off just about every day after school.)

And with all that learning she is so eager about? Well, it comes with a very tired, very crabby mind and body by the time she gets home. 8:15 - 2:30 is a LOOOONNNGG day for the "just 5".
So, every day when I pick the kid up from school, I never know what kind of emotional bullet I am going to try and dodge. And then, to top it off, she has found the wonderment of lying. Oh yeah.

Elliott, where's your sandwich? "I ate it." All the way to the crust? "Yep! I even ate the crust!" Really. 2 hours later, throwing something away, who ate the sammich? The garbage can, that's who.

At school: Elliott did you finish your work and put it in the done pile? "Yep!" Ok then, go play! Only to find at grading time that the front side was completed, face up, and the back side had not been touched. So.... no school play time. THEN she gets caught trying to throw her work away and says: "Oh MY! The mechevious little fairy must have come and thrown my work away! That Fairy! what are we going to do with her?!?"

I wish I was making this shit up. But no, that is word for word what her teacher told me when we had a conference this week. So you know what happened? Oh yeah, I pulled a tool out of my parent's toolbox. Their favorite one as a matter of fact, in dealing with me, probably because it doesn't get you arrested. GROUNDING.

Oh yeah, my 5 year old has been grounded all week. No tv. NONE.

Its not like we watch a lot of tv here... actually, its hardly ever on. But, when I need it so I can catch a 20 minute catnap in the afternoon while the baby is sleeping, its a godsend. Or, when I am trying to get dinner together, its an instant babysitter and that's a good thing. Or god forbid I want to make 1 uninterrupted phone call that can last for more than 5 minutes... TV it is!

Yes, this really does hurt me more than it hurts you. TRUST ME.

I will say however, sticking to my guns has made a much more enjoyable household, and man, that tv time will never have been so sweet to Elliott as when she gets home tonight from school and finally gets to watch a show.

In Other (somewhat related) News:

Yesterday I went all over hell and half'a Georgia to find a suitable Christmas dress for Elliott to wear for our annual holiday card photo, and found an adorable and fancy dress for the little princess. It was amazing, and on sale. WOOT! So I show it to her, and mention that once Daddy was home she could try it on, make sure she liked it and it fit, and until then, it would be hanging in MY CLOSET, not to be touched.

So I said, go upstairs and play quietly while your sister sleeps and I get dinner started, then i will be up to read with you. Ok? (cause see here is where i would keep an eye on her and have her watch a show while I prepare dinner, so she doesn't get in trouble.... but no TV so.... I have to trust her.)

And what does she do? Get into my closet using 2 boxes and her stepping stool. Get the dress down. Take it into HER closet, rip the tags off, and change into it. Comes down to the kitchen so excited about her beautiful new dress that she CAN'T STAND THIS THING IS SOOOO ITCHY!!!! TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK! But, where are the tags? Elliott, you can't take things back without tags! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING GETTING INTO MY CLOSET IN THE FIRST PLACE I SAID LEAVE IT ALONE FOR A REASON WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh yeah, can you say Lunitic? I said the dress was on sale, I did not however say that it was cheap. Catch my drift? And I will be goddamned if i am going to listen to her bitch at me THAT SHE IS TOO ITCHY! while i am trying to wrangle the most un-wrangleable of babies through a christmas card photo this weekend.

But alls well that ends well. I will not be arrested for beating my child because the gods were smiling down upon the little golden-haired wonder this week, as somehow the little plastic tag did not break, did not rip the fabric of the new dress, and I was miraculously able to put it all back together and return the beautiful, itchy dress. Once I calmed down long enough to look at her without wanting to scream, I told her she was super, super lucky. SUPER LUCKY. She looked up at me and half smiled and just said: "I know."

-over and out-

Guilty as charged

2009-11-19T08:25:00.003-06:00

November 2009: Elliott Rose & Frankie Jane, in their matching Big Sister, Little Sister pjs.

So, 2009 has been what I would like to call "A banner fucking year in the old Bender household." if you catch my drift. To put it mildly, over all I think it sucks. BUT, and its a big BUT, I have a ton of guilt because, technically, none of the shitty stuff has happened to me. Its happened around me, to the people that I love. So I am processing it all.... feelings of loss, hopelessness, old emotional baggage that some events have stirred up, and trying to move forward.

However, maybe its the good ol' Irish/Catholic in me, maybe its just human nature, but I am full of guilt about it all. I know this is just life and how it works, and trust me, I am grateful and humbled to the very depths of my soul that my life has been this way thus far. But still, it can be hard to see the forest from the trees some days.

And this week, just happens to be one of those weeks.

I sent an email to a dear friend, looking for some light at the end of the tunnel... good news... something to make me smile. And although he is battling his own major health issues and has a million problems on his own plate, always seems to find a way to put things in perspective for me.... and this is what he replied with:

"Remember this - life is not fair, and that has worked to your advantage."

And it's true. Life is not fair, and I have some pretty substantial first hand knowledge of this fact. Yet, today, I need to be aware, be grateful, and acknowledge that at times, it does also work to my advantage. My kids are healthy & happy. I have health insurance, a warm home, and food on the table. Our hearts are full of love, and my husband does everything in his power to not only provide for us, but make our lives better on every level. I am investing in my children, their futures, and breaking as many bad cycles as I can. And I could continue to feel guilty about this all, or I could change my way of thinking, be grateful and keep moving forward, with love in my heart.

The Beatles have to be right.... I'm gonna go with the LOVE.

Workin' it out

2009-11-14T09:16:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, as an "adventure", Auntie Liz and I thought we'd take the girls shopping at the outdoor outlet mall since it was a nice, balmy late fall afternoon. Elliott was on fire, due to many factors...
1. Kindergarten is no freaking joke. They work those kids pretty hard these days, it's all day, and come Friday afternoon, that kid is SPENT. Like Woah. Case in point, she got to pick out of the "prize box" for having such a good week, and she got a pack of gummies. 1 dropped out of her hand while we were driving from school and she had a 4-alarm melt down STOP STOP STOP, I DROPPED MY PURPLE GUMMY! I CANT FIND IT! WAAAAAHHHHH. complete with crocodile tears. Great, so this is how the weekend is going to start....
2. she "chose not to eat lunch." Yeah, that's what she told me. She CHOSE not to. no big deal. Didn't wanna. She aparrently wasn't "interested" in her mac n' cheese. "Nah, not really. Not today." Try explaining to a 5 year old that she is melting down and being absolutely unreasonable because she is "Hangry" (hungry+angry=hangry) it brings about a whole other list of am nots, will not, and blah blah blah.

Add in Auntie Liz trying desperately to add light to the situation, and take some stress off me so I don't go Batshit crazy and start spewing some nonsense at Elliott that probably equates to some version of mind control just to get her to shut it for a moment and you get this kind of senario:

Auntie Liz: "blah blah blah, just stop listening to her. Lets get to dinner, she'll eat and it will be fine."
Elliott, from the back seat, hearing this exchange and not able to keep from putting her 2 cents in: "Auntie Liz! Stop talking rude to my Mommy! Beacuse you did that, now you have to sniff my feet! Mine are totally gross and stinky, just like yours!"

No. I'm not making this up. This is apparrently what Elliott deems as appropriate punishment for rudeness, and I am going to go out on a limb here and blame it soley on her father. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.

Elliott, one day you are either going to love me or hate me for having a record of all this nonsense. All I know is that no matter how you feel about it, this is going to be the thing that gives me comfort when you are a teenager and hate me for sometimes good, and for sometimes no reason. When you are older and starting a family of your own, have moved away, or don't have time, I will be able to come here and remember that when you were 5 years old, you swore up and down of 2 things:

1. you are NEVER going to drive. NEVER. you want me to drive you everywhere, for the rest of your life.
2. you are NEVER EVER EVER going to live in a house without me. You think it would be best if we live together forever.

And one day, if all goes according to plan, you are going to look at this and laugh your ass off.
ily

-over and out-

Good morning Starshine.....

2009-11-12T08:43:00.002-06:00

... the Earth says Hello!

In the midst of of sadness and grief, there are still moments of laughter and joy. It's kind of amazing isn't it? Life....

There's all these sayings people use about life: its what happens when you're making other plans. If you don't stop to enjoy it once in awhile, you may miss it. You know, all those things that seem so silly, until you realize that people say them because they're true.

My Dad is a classic example of this kind of behavior, and I think I have inherited this gene from him. I always have something to say, some explanation for, well, just about anything under the sun. Its annoying and irritating at times, and I try to control it to an extent, but I guess its just kinda who I am, where I come from.

So, when words fail me, or, even when its a situation where there is some old saying that would indeed be true or apply, being able to recognize that I'm Sorry and silence is the kindest thing a person can do. Because I am sorry. And no words are going to make it better. And no one wants to hear "there is a plan" or any of that other inane bullshit when you are staring down the worst moments of your life. Comfort can come in many forms, in many way, at any time, if we allow it to.

Today, the sun is shining and for me, it brings comfort. I do not know where yours will come from, or when it will arrive. But I believe it will arrive. Fleeting and momentary in the beginning, and evolving over time.

I believe that at any given time, when we realize we are not alone, that there are others out there experiencing life, living, the bad and the good, waking up each day and moving in a forward motion to see what else is in store, that that knowledge brings comfort as well.

So this is my return... my reminder to you, and to myself, that we are not alone. If you are happy today, be happy. It is another day, a fresh start, a warm sun. If you are in the midst of pain and sorrow, remember there is love for you, and it comes in overwhelming waves at times, from all directions. But what better than to love, and be loved in return.....

Who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear...

2009-11-10T08:29:00.002-06:00

Its been a long time friends. Its been awhile since I took comfort, found an outlet, had the written word to help me think it out, come to terms with this life as it keeps unfolding around us all.

And this thing we call Life? Well, I found out this year that it can straight up, be a mind-fuck.

My life is good. I consider myself a blessed person, and I am grateful with every single fiber of my being of the exponential wonder and good i see and get to experience in this existence of mine. I am surrounded by people and things that teach me and help me grow in every way, almost every day. It's all about the evolution, right? And I knew starting this year, there were going to be some challenges, but also some great accomplishments headed our way. What I was not prepared for, was the level of challenges and the rapid spiritual and emotional evolution that was about to take place.

And I am not going to go into detail about it all. not here, not just yet. its all too fresh. But, needless to say, I've changed and grown more as person this year, than possibly over all the past 10 years combined, and I've watched it happen in the people around me as well. But did I really want this push? Was i looking for the emotional upheaval so that i could get to some of my core issues and work through them? Well, spiritually speaking, I maintain a feeling of gratitude to be able to work through things and lead an authentic life, so to speak. But did i really want to be faced with so much, so fast, while watching similar things unfold in the lives of my loved ones? Nah, not so much.

So god with a little g: I get it. The message is coming through loud and clear. What I want to be clear on is this: I'll do all the work that needs done. I will continue to evolve through each one of these changes and challenges. But the message has been received, and i would sincerely appreciate it if you could STOP SENDING THE SIGNALS, LIKE NOW.

2009 has been too much. I'm hitting my load limit, and most of the people around me are as well. So could you just fucking lay off for like a minute?

....................................................

Today, I hold my dear friend M.G. in my heart, surrounded by love, while she and her family deal with the loss of her niece. A daughter, a granddaughter, a big sister, a beacon of light and love and pure joy. I am so, so sorry for your loss, and words can not even begin to express the sorrow in my heart.

The Monsters Sleep

2008-12-18T11:18:00.002-06:00

SSSSHHHHHHHHHHH..... Internet, you are never going to believe this, but BOTH my little monsters are asleep right now. And its noon. Oh, and Elliott has not taken a nap in over 3 months.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, as not much sleeping has been happening in these parts for the last 3 nights. Of course, life with a 3 week old has its ups and down in the sleeping department, so there is not much of a surprise there. But Elliott has some sort of viral infection, complete with nondescript symptoms and a high fever which has had her halucinating frequently in the middle of the night. Of course, Murphy's Law rules, so they are on alternating nightime waking schedules, alternating about every other hour.

Yea! Having kids is FUN!

And, I spoke too soon. Elliott is up, time to check temps, give fluids and try and convince her to eat some food.

For now, -over and out-

Where reality and parenthood meet... One day at a Time

2008-12-10T11:15:00.003-06:00

Indeed, Dear Internet, you already have been hipped to the addition to the family. Frankie Jane Carter made her debut a mere 2 weeks and 2 days ago. Since then, my time has been spent breastfeeding and trying to sleep... both of which are going relatively well all things considered. I have to admit, however, that somewhere in the last 4 years of living with Elliott, I became quite accustomed to the ease with which our lives revolved. Elliott is such a loving, understanding, and unique little spirit... fairly even tempered, usually a good listener, and a great sleeper. Even with her naps ending abruptly about 2 1/2 months ago, things have maintained an even keel around here. So my first 4 days home with a non-sleeping, hungry, crying, pooping very cute infant had me wandering around my house and wondering What the Fuck did I just Do?

I think it was all the hormones.

Don't get me wrong, I am totally and completely in love with this new bundle, and I welcome her place in this new family dynamic, and I can see that she is growing and changing each day. But I do look forward to building a more consistent routine and finding more of my stride with this thing. Its amazing the amount of baby information you forget as your 1st born moves so far away from those days and becomes a little (somewhat) self-sufficient person.

So I am moving through these days one day at a time, a little calmer, a little more confidant than the last time, and once again trying not to screw up any of the important things. Which these days basically pertains to feeding, diapering and burping... round the clock, not too much to screw up yet. I'll keep you posted.

In Other News:

Tonight Kris opens for one of my favorites, Hamell on Trial at the Beachland in Cleveland. Some of you might remember that when Elliott was just over 4 weeks old, Kris and I went to see Hamell at The Knitting Factory in Hollywood courtesy of Grandy's babysitting skills and some pumped breast milk. Well, for 2 weeks I have been debating pumping again and leaving these children at home so that I wouldn't miss the show I have been waiting for for all these years... (that is to say, Kris finally opening a show for Hamell.) Well, the hard part of parenting is that I have to suck it up and stay home. Frankie is just a little to young I feel to leave her, and since its so early in the game of breastfeeding, I thought it wise to stay away from bottles for a little while longer to hopefully prevent any issues in the near future with how she gets her food.

Kid, you better be worth it. LOL.

So far, the only shows (within reason) that I have missed due to parenthood have been tonight, and a Twilight Singers show in 2003. On the night before Thanksgiving 2003, standing ticket in hand outside the Wilturn in Los Angeles, I walked away from seeing my ultimate favorite Greg Dulli perform because that morning I had just found out I was pregnant, the next day we were leaving for Playa Saldamondo, Mexico for a Vegan-Thanksgiving-Beach Camping Adventure.

Standing there, wanting my life to go on as normal, all I could think was: "Holy Shit. I'm Pregnant." So I walked away from the crowd, got in the car and drove home. We still left for Mexico the next morning, and I vomited off and on the whole weekend, and fate was totally sealed. Ready or not, I was becoming a parent 1 day in.

So, here's to another year of building a foundation, for Frankie Jane and for me. Hopefully I am trading tonight for a video of the show, maybe a shout out from Hamell, and, if god is smiling upon us, a good night's sleep.

-over and out-

2 more days and nothing but snow

2008-11-21T09:20:00.002-06:00

It's been snowing for like 4 days or so now, and its hitting around the 7 in mark I do believe. I honestly don't mind the snow too much, until it starts to get in the way of being able to do anything. And I will admit, I have not been fully prepared for winter like weather due to the fact I was SURE I would be out of maternity clothing and back into my own wardrobe and winter coats by now.

But No.

I am stretching the limits of not only my closet, but have been borrowing hoodies and sweatshirts from friends and family to make up for the fact that I have greatly underestimated not only the weather this time around, but the length of my pregnancy as well. I know the gray hoodie is not the most attractive thing.... but seriously, you want to talk to me about fashion at a time like this? Its 29 degrees outside, I have no coat that covers my stomach, and am currently 4 days OVERDUE with a rather large child, and you want to discuss the clothing I am currently living in? Something is telling me that a few people around here (read: fer, yucca) seem to have lost their damn minds. ;-)

Wed I had yet another Dr. appointment to check how things are going in my overly-full belly, only to find that indeed there is some progress being made, but its s-l-o-w. Better than nothing, and if mother nature does not take off this weekend, then come Monday morning, I will be meeting my Dr at the hospital and an official eviction will take place. Which leads me to the question: Why do they schedule inductions so ungodly early? We have to be at the hospital to check in at 5:45am. That's the middle of the night if you ask me. And you want me to be up, awake, showered and ready to willingly start labor at that time? I will be surprised if I can even keep some breakfast down... my body will still be in sleeping mode, not eating mode. What the hell...

But, at least I know there is an official time cap on this thing, and that is the one tidbit that is keeping me from losing my own damn mind.

In Other News:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAYNE! It's "Our" Wayne's birthday and we will be headed out to Medina tonight to celebrate with some good food and a warm fire. (as long as this snow lets up) Ellie and I will be baking a fresh cranberry pie instead of cake... I'll let you know how it turns out!

-over and out-

November 17 hath come and gone

2008-11-18T10:26:00.003-06:00

Hello... is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me....

Its been 11 months since I took to blogging. 3 years of regular communication with you, Dear Internet, and then I vanish. I have no excuse, except for life getting in the way. Parenting, more house repairs, and few killer trips/vacations, oh... and the getting knocked up again sometime around my birthday. I think you all knew that by now, what with all the pics of me with a giant belly floating through the ether.

This is pretty much what's happening now... Freaky. Taken on Sunday, the day before my due date. 40 freaking weeks of carrying child number 2, whom shall be named Frankie Jane Carter. That is, if and when she ever gets the F out here.

I have been ready to go and get this labor thing over with for 2 weeks now... waiting and waiting and waiting. Nothing. Contractions here and there... but nothing.

Elliott, who all of a sudden started calling herself a big sister in early March before I knew I was knocked up, who swore up and down from the getgo it was going to be another girl, (no option what-so-ever that it was a boy) repeatedly said that Frankie would come when it snows. And I won't lie, it freaked me out a little considering last week it was 60 and sunny here for multiple days in a row. But yesterday, it snowed a little, and then a little more, and this morning we awoke to a complete winter wonderland. 2-3 inches of light, powdery, fluffy-ass snow and NO FREAKING BABY.

And this time I will not be afraid to have my labor jump-started if need be. So kid, let this be fair warning, I am giving you and mother nature 5 more days to complete your task on your own, and then you are out, come hell or high water. Besides, you're already 8lbs, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!?

In Other News:

I am going to try and take to this blogging thing again more regularly (if anyone still cares) and we will see where it takes us again.

Oh, and Yucca, ask me again: "What, no baby today?" and see what happens. I dare you...
;-)

-over and out-

Hello 2008!

2008-01-11T09:12:00.001-06:00

She goes, she comes back, she goes again.

Hello, dear internet. How is 2008 treating you thus far?

My oh my, I have so many things to share with you since we last met. And you wonder why I have not stopped by to fill you in, if there are so many developments, don't you.... Well, my internet has been broken for 2 weeks, thanks to the ineptitude of AT&T, and our digital camera broke for good just before Christmas, so that meant no blogging or photo blogging.

And if its been awhile since you last had to stay updated with your friends and family via the free computers at your local library I highly recommend you try it.... it's extremely humbling. But for now, let's get to the nitty gritty.

On the New Year Front:
We spent NYE hanging out and playing Guitar Hero III for Wii. Amazing. Just as addictive as they say it is. Good thing Santa found that last one at Target, or Christmas might have been ruined. Oh, and I am not one to make New Year resolutions, but I did decide to give up alcohol for Jan, if not possibly more... I'll see how it rolls. It seems so much less drastic than my Sister's Raw Vegan 30 day diet for the new year, which she is writing about here. I am super proud of her, especially since she found my "food combining" so "interesting" (read: strange) for all those years. ;-)

On the Home Improvement Front:
The 1.2 bath renovation is absolutely completed. It has been for some time, but I can't remember if I told you about it. From the floor to the ceiling and everything in between, everything is new. And so worth it. And having taken a few months off, Kris and I were bitten by the improvement bug over New Years weekend and decided to at least give our kitchen a facelift while we save the money to gut it completely. But the facelift turned out so great, I hardly mind the kitchen at all now, so we may just get new counters and ceiling. (if we can pull it off) It amazes me every time what a difference some fresh paint makes. (full pictures coming this weekend).

On the Personal Development Front:
We (quite a few family & friends) donated our time (and some $$) to a local woman & children's shelter last weekend and helped to spruce things up a bit. We brought some cheer for the kids by way of an art contest and dance/sing along, while the rest of us battled it out and painted 2 family bedrooms. It was a good time, and I had forgotten how great it feels to volunteer. Its gonna become a regular thing for us, and there is even talk of creating a non-profit, so I am sure you will hear more about this in the coming months. (And if you want to hear a more detailed account of the activities and how it all came about, check here.)

On the Work Front:
Going well at work and on my side work. I just began as the writing esthetician for a skin care line, and I am super excited. Check it out.

On the Home Front:
Quite a few things have been falling into place for us these days. Akron just seems to evolve as we need it to and watching it all unfold is so interesting. Life overall has become easier in the past months and we are finding our stride. Our house feels like home, and I realize that next month will already mark our 1yr anniversary of moving into this big old drafty house. So many things change, so many stay the same. Maybe its finally time to have that housewarming party I keep talking about. Ha ha.

In looking back on the past year, I realized that I have been leaving out a few important details of our life since we moved here. Some of you were updated in private about this, and some not. Sorry about that, but i just didn't know really what to say.

In May 2007 Kris and I made a very difficult decision regarding our dearly loved and somewhat infamous pooch Lilah. If you ask Elliott, Lilah went to live with old dogs, on an old dog farm where she can chase squirrels all day long. I don't know if you have ever seen an animal have a mental breakdown, but to the best of my knowledge and ability, that is precisely what happened. It unfolded slowly at first, around the time we moved, and quickly got out of hand by April. Who knows what caused it, more moving (#3 for her), the lack of Kris in the first few months, health or just the combination of it all, but she made herself clear, and we felt we had to help her out.

Since then, I have been lonely. She left a big hole that I knew there was no point in trying to fill. And let me tell you, a pet-free house is a quiet house indeed. Too quiet. But we grieve, adjust and move along. With pictures of her around, and conversation of her often. Maybe we'll even have another baby now that there's no fear of it being eaten (wink, wink).

And here we are...... I thought for sure the next animal we got would be another dog, but I believe life gives you what you need, and a few days ago it brought us Bob. Mister Bob Clayman Carter. Or Bobbie the Wondercat as Elliott likes to call him. He is somewhere between 10&14 years of age, orange haired, super chill and loveable. He was left orphaned after Mr. Akron's passing... and we just couldn't have watched this story unfold any other way. Death leaves such gaping holes for all of us, but my realization is the patchwork can be done in myriad ways for all of us.

After only 2 days here, Bob has investigated the entire house except for the basement. Is eating well and making noise and playing with his toys. Yesterday he followed me all around the house, and curled up on the couch while Kris & I watched some tv. This guy.... he's the perfect fit, and exactly what I didn't know I was looking for.

In Other News:
Because of the writer's strike and no new "real" television I have gotten hooked on the return of American Gladiators. Do yourself a favor and watch it. The Eliminator competition at the end of each show is SO WORTH IT. I can't remember the last time I have laughed as hard at tv.

I also watched the series premiere of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. The exact opposite of hilarious... it is horrendous, graphic and so, so sad and absolutely captivating. I will be watching this one to the end, but I'll need my The A.G.'s to balance it out. I give some props to VH1 for not copping out on this one and putting it all in your face. We'll see how it continues.

BTW, if there are no writers in Hollywood... who's writing for the soaps? Anyone? just curious.

-over and out-

What you resist, persists

2007-11-28T15:35:00.000-06:00

Or so I've been told. And I can see that to be true, in most regards. So with that notion in mind, last friday night Elliott gave up all the poms. No more, not one. And I stood over the garbage can with all those brightly colored little baby bits in my hand and had one fleeting thought...... maybe I should hold onto just one.... keep it in a safe place, just like I used to have my cigarettes every single time I quit... just in case.

You know... your just in case stash. Everyone has something. Something to eat, smoke, drink, savor. Well, I relished the moment, and then turned my palm and slammed the lid closed. What I resist may persist, but I will not share that yet with my 3 year old. I think that's something she will have to figure out on her own.

So, almost 1 week, pom free. Mostly casualty-free as well. The only problem is the napping thing, seems she just won't do it at school. I could worry about it, but thats what I pay them the big bucks for.

In Other News:

I've been sad for a few weeks now.... Mister Akron passed away and I thought I would have something to say about it by now. But I don't have anything to say. Its just sad and horrible, tragic and untimely, plain and simple, that's that. So Marky, there is no way to fill your space. And it was totally and completely awesome to know you. So...... Thanks.

-over and out-

The Glory of the Pom

2007-11-06T20:06:00.001-06:00

Dear Internets,

Today was an interesting Parental day round here... and I just thought I would take the time to share. If I don't remember to post these inane things, then there will be no record of the goings on when my senility kicks in.

Things have been changing around here in the past few weeks. I've yet to figure out if its simply the weather, time, or the mere fact that I live with a 3 year old, but parenting has been the strangest, and possibly most difficult since they kicked me out of the hospital with a screaming blob that did not come with an instruction manual. So we have been adjusting our approach to certain trials and tribulations (read: tantrums) of the 3 year old in hopes that a few things may occur: ah) I will not have a completely intolerable 5yr old & bah) when we have another child (at some point which is NOT now) I will be able to deal with 2 of them a tad better and no one ends up shaken (including me). lol.

Which brings us to this morning. But before we begin, do you remember the early days? When I had a pom-(binkie, pacifier, nuk whatever)-loving bean of a child that slept, ate and shit well?

Look how cute! Her pom was almost as big as she was.... and she loved it.

And has continued to love them from birth until now, at 3yrs and 3 months old. Now, I have been told before that I should make her give up the pom. That I was in for trouble by letting her keep it.... its for babies and whatnot. Well, there have been tons of reasons why I let all that fall on deaf ears and let my kid suck away on a big plastic nipple:
1. I like that she was still a baby. People make kids grow up too fast as it is.
2. my sisters had their poms for quite some time and we can attribute none of their bizzare behavior to this occurance.
3. she has always slept amazingly, and no one else was offering to come over and live/take care of her for whatever length of time it took to get her over it.
4. it keeps her quiet. you know the phrase "Put a plug in it?" WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT?
Amen.

But now, I see that something will need to be done. To say my child is strong willed is being gentle. She wants to match her poms to her pjs. She needs to have choices in poms and extra ones in hiding incase she cant find them in the night. She talks about it as though its her only comfort in the world, and god forbid we CAN'T FIND THE ONLY POM SHE WANTS TONIGHT TO SLEEP WITH. Do you see what I am getting at here?

So I have been talking to her about the pom fairy, who comes and takes the poms and gives them to the new babies, so they have them. And the pom fairy is amazing, and we will build a nest to leave the poms in and the fairy will leave a NEW Big Girl Present. Awesome! And today, we talked about how soon the fairy is coming, and when we need to make our nest and, can you guess it? Melt Down City.

The screaming. The Crying. The Pleading. Talk of never being able to sleep, and how much she doesn't like the pom fairy and nothing will be ok ever again! And when I reminded her of all the babies out there that needed poms and what would happen to them? how will they be comforted? where will their poms come from? Elliott reminded me that she is indeed my daughter:

"Then when I see the babies with the poms I will step on their fingers and then kick them!"

No, I am not kidding. That is word-for-freaking-word.

-over and out-

Photo Blogging

2007-10-25T08:50:00.000-05:00

So, we are in full fall splendor/Halloween mode round here, and I am LOVING IT. I am putting the finishing touches on our costumes today and we are rocking some fabulous ones this year, let me tell you. Of course, I will not ruin the surprise of it all by telling you what we are, but pictures will follow. And in less than a months time, that I can promise you.

And I know I keep falling off the radar these past 6 months, but I am sinking into the fall/winter mode and falling back in love with the internet. Between blogs, myspace, im and the like, with some good new musics to keep me company and a nicely organized desk, I am coming round the bend. We'll just have to see how slow or fast I travel it. (get it, bend/travel. riiiiight)

So, for lack of anything super funny to say, and no real news to report, here's some photos of the past 2 months:

Elliott, ever the drama queen, will tell you this photo is the one with "The shirt says This is what Cute looks like, and The littlest pun'kins of my whole life!"

Elliott & Mommy, loving the leaves and whatnot on a crisp fall day. Gotta love it.

Last night of the The Bucket Shop.... Yucca, Me & cousin Mandy (they have the Brigid Special Glow on).

Rockin' the horns after being caught in the rain talking to some old friends... I think this photo was taken somewhere between 2 and 3 am?

Full night on the last night. Back in the day, this was every Friday and Saturday night...

Corner bar.... home for a few years. They never did tell me what my final bar tab was, that they paid off as a wedding present, all those years ago.

Me & Marco, latenight.

Dance Ya'll, Dance

Hope you enjoyed the photos.... stay tuned.

-over and out-

Keepin it real, Real Cuuunnnn-try Ya'll!

2007-09-07T06:55:00.000-05:00

This morning, as we are talking about the weather and what kind of clothes we are going to wear today, Elliott says: "You know what the rain does? It puts the leaves back on the trees. Its their favorite water. Did'ja know that?"

Kids. They say the craziest things.

Like this weekend when our friends were in from Chicago with their 2 kids (Hazle: 3, Thomas: 11 months) and Elle & Hazle were being bathed and started to call everything a damnit. Oh Damnit. That's a Damnit. And, to protect the innocent, I am not even gonna tell you which one of them started it first.

Or how last week, while we were driving to dinner with Yucca & family, Emmitt started to sing his Damn song, which consists of singing the word over and over in the littlest of sing-song voices. So, to better things for both him and his mom once he goes to school and gets caught teaching the other kids that song, I told him he had it all wrong.... its Bam...which he thought was super funny...

Kids. They are (most days) so easy to please.

In the meantime of all the caring for children and whatnot that goes on in our day-to-day lives, we celebrated the holiday weekend with tons of festivities that left me feeling like I need a vacation from my long weekend vacation. But I guess thats the sign of some good times, so no biggie. (Or, as Elliott also likes to tell me: "Forget it. It doesn't even matter Mommy.") We also spent Labor day itself being shut out of swimming at the local Metro Parks Lake, throwing a Wah-Trah Beach Party in the front yard. Cuz thats how we roll. Why hang out in your back yard when you can do it in the front and keep an eye on all the neighbors while your at it? LOL. We grilled, we chilled, we drank some beers and tasty malt-beverage. What more could you ask for on the last of the Summer Holiday weekend? Although, I must admit, if I see another hot dog before next summer, it will be way, way too soon.

And in keeping with my desire to always bite off more than I can chew, the past 3 days I have been tirelessly working on the 1/2bath and mudroom to complete this task that was started in JULY. Yeah... I think its been long enough. But, BUT (and its a big but with finger pointed to the sky in exclamation!) its almost finished. By the end of afternoon tomorrow I will again have a fully functional bathroom, and the mudroom flooring will be finshed shortly after that. Amazing. And a HUGE shout out has to go to Esteban, the quietest home improvement friend I have ever known. Its good to know people in high places, with lots of knowledge and man power.... who also happen to be bribed with Cake & Beers.

Good Times.

In Other News:
Photos to follow in a day or 2, so stay tuned. If yer interested. This weekend is also the closing of 2 favorite nightspots, so we gots to try and stay outta jail whiles we gets tore up. LOL. I'll let ya know how bad things are come Sunday... if I can still type. Here we go! (LMAO)

-over and out-

She's Alive

2007-08-21T12:12:00.000-05:00

Dear Internet,

My my my, its been a long, long time. Have you missed me?

Last time we talked it was March, and now here we are... mid August. And you may be asking yourself, where have these last 4 months gone, Where have I been? Well, if you are interested, here is where I've been:

We moved and I was getting settled. Into a new house, new life, new job... living week to week and hoping for the best to come, and, quite honestly, not really finding it. I had to deal with the fact that the new job that I took was just not right for me... so I quit. I gave up lunches with my sister, inside jokes, onsite day care... and I found another job. Part time, closer to home, and I like it so much more.

I am still settling into living in a city with which I have so much history, memories, yet so much has changed in the past 7 years. So to say its been an adjustment, well, that's kinda an understatement.

Elliott turned 3 a few short weeks ago, and I realized the impact of not keeping up with my writing. Who knows when/if I will get back to it and write her birthday note, but I plan to.... but that has always been my way.... grand plans, somewhat lacking in followthru. The house plans take the majority of my followthru, since leaving a bathroom demolished for more than a few weeks throws a kink in the plans of personal bathroom time with a toddler. A toddler who also refuses to poop unless the door is closed and she can "read my magazine alone." Who knew at 3 one could feel so private. So be it.

So, here are some photos from June of the house so far... its a work in progress, please understand. As my dad says tho, we have a good 30 years to work on it. LOL. What a funny man.

The Living Room:

The Kitchen, which need some WORK!

The Den: when not full of children's toys. And soon, we will have curtains, so as not to make it seem like such a fish bowl at night.

So, thats about it for now. But before I go... did anyone else catch the new GH spinoff nighttime hospital drama made for soap net; Night Shift? Once a week with extra drama? Hell Yeah!

-over and out-

Restless, restless, it happens all the time... OR Day 2

2007-03-21T05:44:00.000-05:00

Yeesterday was my first day at the New Job. I don't know how long I will have to be there before I feel compelled to stop calling it New Job.... but for the forseable future, that's what it is.

Feeling kinda spent yesterday, I was a smart girl and got in bed to read for awhile before falling asleep. Bean had a tough day... with staying up a tad too late too many nights in a row, and then not taking a nap.

Right as I was dozing off into what I thought would be an incredible night's sleep, based on how worn out I've been.... the screaming and crying starts. Not from me mind you, I can't cry. It was Elliott.

Lilah had already woken her up about 20 min after going to sleep last night by going upstairs to make a ton of noise and throw her bed around. Good times. I had figured that could mean we were in for a night of restless sleep. I had no idea what I was in store for.

10:30. 11:15. 12:30 more water and a cereal bar, in my bed... from which she never left. crying while falling in and out of sleep till 1:30, when I finally came to my senses and realized that for whatever reason she simply could not get comfortable or wind down enough to sleep. So, be it good or not, I got the Children's Motrin.

To be fair, since I knew that whatever was bothering her was not accompanied by a fever, I only gave her 1/2 the reccommended dose. But, it must have done its job, because we both fell asleep (albeit, restless and full of strange and sad dreams for me) but she lay mostly calm without the contunious crying and wailing waking her up.

So, here we are. 6:45am. Exhaused. Not yet sure if it includes cranky or not... but day 2 is upon us. Time to get rollin. And tonight, tonight I will become a recluse and I pray for a good nights sleep.

In Other News:
eh.

-over and out-

This is what I live for?

2007-03-15T07:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I was on the phone with a friend from LA... giddy and happy and sharing all the tidbits about why its been so great to move back to the midwest. Beautiful old homes in affordable price ranges, small amounts of traffic, and my favorite reason; seasons. LA may get year-round good weather, but I get Spring and Fall.

When I was running around the past 2 days, no jacket, jeans and a t-shirt, I thought for a moment that it could already be here. Spring that is. Winter, a thing of the past... and here we are.

I spent all last night, after Elliott went to bed, priming the living room walls for our painting extravaganza this weekend. Well, between all the St. Patrick's Day celebrating... cuz you know its my fav holiday! But I digress. I had windows open while I was painting (at least, the few that are not currently painted shut)... and at 12:30 am it was raining, but still beautiful and balmy outside.

Somewhere between 1:30am when I fell alseep and this morning at 7, when my mommy alarmclock started blasting, SNOW crept in and blanketed these very surroundings. A thin white cover to remind me of yet another thing the midwest has to offer.... unpredictability. If it snowed one day in the middle of July, I would not be surprised.

So here is the picture of this morning: Momma & babe lounging on our California King bed, while snow falls in March after 2 days of almost 70 degrees, and Dora & Boots are on their way to spending day at the beach. That is, once that crazy-ass Map gets his shit together and tells them which way to go.

In Other News:

We're headed over to my Grams today to spend some quality time and eat Irish Soda Bread. Or at least I will, because I can't imagine my kid is going to be hungry after all the toenails she's chewed off her little bubble toes so far this morning. And I only wish I was kidding.

-over and out-

Don't get me wrong

2007-03-07T19:14:00.000-06:00

Dear Internet,

Today I went and bought me a Neon Bible and my new Great Love is Arcade Fire. I mean, I already had more than a great like for them... but boy has it blossomed and I don't think its the wine talking.

I know I have yet to change the layout, all the bells and whistles I have been promising for so long, but I figured a hello was in order weather I was ready for you or not. Hello, and lets dive right in. There's just so much to tell.

The big old house has been moved into. Elliott Lilah & I are living here fulltime, and Fer is commuting from Chicago weekends. Did I forget to mention that part? Uh yeah, its not ideal, but its the way its going for now for a few specific reasons that I can't really bring myself to get into now. I want to talk about a million things, my mind is racing, but that dears, is not one of 'em. Just wanted ya'lls to know where we stand on things.

The house is amazing and needs less work than I had anticipated, which is good since last week I almost lost my mind during a few of the home improvements, but I learned a lot quickly and I am sure I will have more to post about that in the long run so lets move on.

Do you ever feel like there is no one out there to talk to without freaking someone out? I mean, really talk to. Everything tends to get to censored when you fear distortion, and who really does not distort. No one really listens to what you're saying... they listen for what they want/expect to hear. Ya get me? If so, listen up, its about to get real frank up in this bitch.

I am not a fan of living without my husband, surprise surprise. If these past few weeks have taught me anything, its that I genuinely like & love that man. We've been together 10 years now, and sometimes I don't feel old enough to have done ANYTHING consistant for ten years. Sometimes I hate being tied down and having someone to explain myself to when I get all crazy and self-righteous. Sometimes I want to be alone and not have to talk about all the distorted things that go through my head when I am faced with situations that are tough to deal with. Sometimes when there is trouble I want to run away. Can you tell me anyone who doesn't? I don't lie and I am not perfect. BUT, what I am faced with in these days, without the opportunity to be on my best or worst behavior because no one is here to see, is that I am a better person when he is around. He grounds me when I freak out, he makes me laugh when I am being too level-headed about things that don't even matter and he lets me be me. I know I have said that before, but seriously.... how many people do you know really let you be YOU. Nasty, crabby, loving, vulnerable, whatever. Dirty little secrets about your life before you met, all that crap.

So you are thinking, here is where I get all Olive Oyl in Popeye and sing: "He loves me! Yeah, he loves me!" No, thats not it. I mean, he does love me, but I love him. And our kid loves him. And I don't like being a single parent (and I want to give MAD PROPS to all the single parents out there, holy-fucking-shit. For Realz) I know some people are content to live their lives with little question, with little contemplation of relationships, etc, but I realized something tonight that I was not proud of.

I have a significant number of family members from which I am, in essence, estranged. I know a significant number of people from a life I was formerly living. I know a lot of people now, I have a lot of love to give, and I am not going to repeat patterns of behavior just because they are comfortable. This time apart, while more than likely will be the hardest test of our relationship over these last years, I am going to use it to my advantage. I will reflect, I will not regress, I will use this time to propell our little family forward and I will begin a foundation of healing and lots and lots of love.

If you thought I have been honest in the past, hang onto your hats. Its gonna get really real round here. Can you hang?

In Other News:

I deleted some things from the tivo. Seems like time to get back on track.

"You're such a sensitive child! Oh! you're such a sensitive child! I know you're tired, but it's alright, I just need you to sing for me tonight. You're gonna have your day in the sun; You know God loves the sensitive ones." (antichrist television blues)

-over and out-

Happy Valentine's Day!

2007-02-14T08:33:00.001-06:00

A Picture Share!
Originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Elliott has just turned 2 1/2, which she is quick to point out... but that I will expound upon once we are settled into the new house and we work out the toddler bed situation. (i can tell its going to be good times, just you wait)

Today, we are suffering the ubercold and ton o' snow to make it to her school's Valentine's Day Party, and she is super excited.

Last night, for my birthday we were supposed to make it to a little French place that Kato & Glenny know about, but the snow was sooooo bad that only a mile from the house, after getting stuck twice and sliding everywhichway, we realized that it was futile. We may take an hour to get there, and have a lovely dinner.... but the big ? was, would we make it home. So, much to my dismay, we cancelled the plans, and had a nice, quiet, yummy dinner at Hopleaf around the corner. A glass of wine and wood burning stove made for a great ambiance. And the company was good too (wink wink).

We then came home and spent 45 min digging the drive out so our babysitter could make it home.

Good times good times. It was a wonderful birthday all in all. Much love out there to you, on this Valentines Day....

Elliott and I are off to party with some snotty nosed kids.

-over and out-

Good times at Ikea

2007-02-14T08:17:00.001-06:00

A Picture Share!
Originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

This was supposed to post a few weekends back, but I just realized this am that I had to change my flickr account. Sorry bout that. Just one of those cute shots of Fer & bean that needed sharing....

This time, I'll be the one to say it...

2007-02-13T08:26:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday To ME! I know I just told you yesterday that I was going to take time off, but today... today I am bursting at the seams to share how happy I am.

It is so snowy, cold and WINDY here that we cannot even leave the house. More than 3/4 of the house is packed, and it is kinda starting to feel like we are squatting... save for the running water, heat and electricity to keep my sanity. And yet today I want to shout from the roofs and dance around... I'M 30!

I did not even know you could get so excited about a birthday. Or birthdays in general. But now I think I know how normal people feel when they tell me they love their birthday. I think for the first time I get it. And I was so not expecting to feel this way about it or 30 in general, and maybe that's how it gets you after all these years.

I can only figure that it has something to do with a feeling of accomplishement, happiness, contentment, security in myself and where my life is going that helps to make me feel this way. Maybe 30 is the new 20, maybe its that I feel like an actual adult, what with being a mom and finally owning my own home. Who knows. Today I don't even really care.... I'M 30!

Word to me, my Mutha & my Daddio for not killing me so many years ago. I know there was a time when the idea sounded really, really good. (wink wink)
Love ya!

-over and out-

Time Out

2007-02-12T12:48:00.000-06:00

Dear Internet-

Holy shit we move in 5 days.

I can't imagine that anything else needs to be said, as I think that sums it up, but I want to say hello, because I think this is the last you will hear from me for the next 2-3 weeks.

Please stay tuned and don't abandon me just yet. (I have huge abandonment issues already, and I doubt you want to add to the already growing therapy bill now do you? LOL. wink wink)

I have so many things in store for you. I know I promised you so much at the start of the new year, but with packing and whatnot, I got a little bit sidetracked. However, thanks to some encouragement (thanks Ellen!) When I come back atcha, its gonna be wicked cool and back to the old writing tricks. I think I was starting to feel a little stifled around here, what with the questions and whatnot that writing from the heart always brings up, and not wanting anyone to think I was a woman on the verge.... you know, all Thelma & Louise style, I was keeping a lot of stuff under wraps. But, BUT (I love the double butt, it is always accompanied with a pointing finger for emphasis) I am getting back in the game and taking creative control.

It will be onward, maybe not upward... but moving in any direction seems better than standing still.

I have also been encouraged to compile some of my first years entries into a submission for a book... so if you wanna vote on your favorite pieces... what you liked or hated most (anything that stirrs emotion is better than nothing at all) comment with the title of the blog, date/yr and what you liked or hated... and it will all go into consideration.

And Just in case there are those of you out there, lurking and hating every minute of this.... Suck it, see if you can write your own book.

So for now, consider this my sign off for a few weeks.

As my Daddio likes to say: "Take care of eachother and do good things."

-over and out-

A mere 2 hours....

2007-02-08T10:31:00.000-06:00

That's the total amount of sleep I got last night, if you add up all the 15minute increments of it anyway.

Elliott has the stomach flu. And a viral cough. And Eczema.

We're a real barrel of laughs round here today. But let me tell you, do I have a Markovicious Trooper when it comes to getting sick. Poor girl threw up about 10 times since last night at 1am when she woke up getting sick. All night long she and I laid on her floor, in a mess of blankets and pillows, grabbing the bucket every time she was getting sick. And after, she would smile and thank me and say she was all better.

What a good and special little bean-a.

When we left for the Dr this morning, I felt like a terrible, terrible Momma because I was thinking about how I never got her flu vaccine this year, because they say its only super important for kids under 2. Well, she's over 2. And its a pain in the ass to park for her Doctor. So... we just never went. And this morning, I felt like all her sickness was my fault.

So I told the Dr when we got there... all her crazy things, cough, rash and throwing up. And that I am the worst mom ever cuz I didnt get her flu shot. And she gave me my reprieve: flu vaccine only works for resperatory flu... not stomach flu. And she's overe 2 and healthy, its not a big deal. It's all good.
"
Except its not, cuz bean still doesn't feel too hot, but I got her all kinds of "make me better" food and drink, and she will have a full day of babying & favorite movie watching.....

at least for as long as I can stay awake.

-over and out-

Answer me this, Dear Internet...

2007-02-02T13:32:00.000-06:00

These days I am in a constant state of world saving preperation and preparedness (read: insanity). I do my part to RRR as often as possible, choose organic where it makes a difference, support local businesses and my local farmers, (eat seasonally, shop locally) skip the beef & swine, and purchase freerange (read: happy) chicken & eggs. Hell, I even switched my Cheetos to All Natural (and they are guuuuuuhhhh-ooooooood).

We don't use paper napkins, paper plates or many papertowels. But now that we are packing up, I was thinking about getting a stack of paperplates... you know, just for the last few days of the move. How bad could it be? And don't they have recycled paper products these days? And then the thought crossed my mind... (this is how insane I really am, that I even bother to think these things) Whats the difference in waste, between paperplates and using the dishwasher? With the amount of energy and water used to run it (always full as full could be) am I really keeping the damage to a minimum? No, seriously. Answer me that, internet.

Do you get the distinct vibe that I am a total bleeding-heart-liberal-treehugging-hippie-freak?

I certainly hope so. Cuz crazy comes in so many shapes and sizes, and the real kick is that we are always altering the disguise. (winkwink)

In Other News:

Went out with Kato&Glenny last night for super YUMMY food and drinks at Mas. Thank you again. I ask you, what more could a girl want. ;-)

-over and out-

Houses houses everywhere, but not a drop to drink?

2007-01-31T09:14:00.000-06:00

Oh no, wait. That's bubbles bubbles everywhere. Well, either way.

Hello, hello bitter cold, Welcome. At last you show your face 'round here... still not in time to save my mind from wandering into the global warming category and scaring the shit out of me. I find myself reading Green articles every chance I get. Questioning if the Method cleaning products that I spend my hard earned money on are really good enough. Should I spend even more and switch to Seventh Generation? Can I replace things in my house with recylced and sustainable materials? Are more people thinking this way and demonstrating the 3Rs? (incase you don't know what that means, I will skip the part where I tell you how sad you are making me and tell you: reduce reuse recycle) K?

But I digress... sustainable living brings me to the house thoughts, and the house thoughts are all over the place... it is so strange to find yourself living in limbo, owning something and not yet being there to experience it. However, the move is less than 3 weeks away, and Fer & I decided last night that this Sat will be my last day of work. The end here is in sight, and while bittersweet, I am super excited to start the new journey. And there are so many more things going on... and so much more fun to be had.

Last night, after a few weeks of talkingandfiguringandplanning, (planning.... that maynan is good at the planning) Maynan & Kirkie made a ruuuulll big big kid move and put an offer on a house. A cute, ready to have their stamp marked upon it, 4 bedroom for them to grow into, house. It sits kitty-corner from the 1st house we spent our days in, which is strange enough, BUT---- BUT (can you sense my finger flying up in the air, pointing out to you for emphasis?) most importantly, it is within walking distance from OUR new house. Which means, BOTH of my sisters will be walking distance for whatever the case may be: craft night (cuz we're guh-hay-hay!), tv time, a stumble home if need be, and to babysit! LMAO.

I have a really good feeling about this... something just tells me its all working out. Not necessarily as planned, because as you know, I never really plan much other than home decor, but... its just good. Its a good working out feeling....

Sated.

In Other News:

Its just soooo easy to fall back into the GH trap. So, so easy. Damn you Carly.

-over and out-

Well then, I hate you too

2007-01-24T11:57:00.000-06:00

Holy F-ing Shit. Yucca brought this to my attention today. I shouldn't be amazed at the stupidity out there in the great wide beyond of the interweb, but seriously. Seriously!?! I cannot even comprehend it. Not at all. It would be funny, if not for being totally terrifying.

Particularly, the two disclaimers at the end: they are constantly updating the list, and that there are people out there so furiously emailing this dude to notify him of the vast amounts of gay-oriented music available, their heads are all on the verge of exploding.

What I DO enjoy about this site, is the fact that an active email address is available to ALL OF US so that we may contact and overload the massive gmail account in moments of outrage or boredom; whichever moves you to action:
donniedavies@gmail.com

I have a few points on which to expound (i mean really, when don't I anyway):

ah. How come only Elton John gets a (really gay) after his name? I think Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters may be hurt by that. Besides, it would sound super spesh if they said (uber gay) anyway.

bah. How come Boy George has a * after his name with no disclaimer? What I dislike even more than bigotry is half-assed explainations in support of bigotry. I mean, how can I argue back when its not clear where you stand? Is it the drugs? Is that it? Because I think you missed the * after about 3/4 of that page. But I digress.

3. (doesn't that just make you cringe? the flipping from abc's to 123's? I know! I'm making all this worse! Just trying to drive the insanity home!) I don't see Scott Stapp or Creed on that list. If that shit isn't gay, I don't know what is!

And finally (for now, I could really go on for DAYS on this shit) I am so happy to own more than 3/4 of their list so far! Look at me! I love gay music. Now, do you think Fer was trying to tell me something, buying the latest Scissor Sisters? LMAO.

Idiots.

In Other News:

really, even if I did have something else right now, nothing competes with that. seriously.

-over and out-

Keep on, Keepin' on

2007-01-17T10:30:00.000-06:00

Its totally official. There's no backing out now. We are embarking on a new adventure of sorts... the kind that comes with hammer and nails and a general knowledge of how things work and get fixed. Thank god I was paying attenion to my Dad, all those years listening inbetween "Goddamnits" while doing general home improvements will now actually pay off.

The move date was set, and then changed again, because you know me! I can't ever just sit tight and wait for things to come along. I have to poke, prod, manuver and manipulate everything in my power to get things going fasterfasterfaster. Don't you wish you lived with me too? (lol) If you like trainwrecks, its totally fantastic! So we are now moving Feb 17. Awesome! 4 whopping weeks to pack up and load out.

I love moving. Seriously. I love the going thru old things, getting rid of clutter, and the general clean slate for decorating and organizing that moving brings. So for me, I can't pack fast enough. I could throw a million things away, except for the fact that my darling husband knows that someday some of this crap is going to come in handy. Crap that has been sitting in boxes since we moved from Ohio the first time, winter 1999. I figure if you haven't looked or referenced something in 3-4 years of living, and you don't need it to prove to the IRS or Government that you are who you say you are and INDEED, I DID pay my taxes.... GET RID OF IT. Except Junk Jewelry. You can never have too much junk jewelry. Thats a fact.

Right now, however, one could open both the Museum of Bass Player Magazine AND Large Analog Recording Devices in our basement. I don't even think Bass Player Magazine has archives going back as far as these. Fer realz. Thats what I get for playing house with a man who only utilizes his Virgo tendancies (read: anal/organized) pertaining to music items and archives. So if I am ever not around, beware... Fer more than likely will not be able to find a valid piece of identification. Gotta love it, riiiight?

But I digress. I am starting to become a bit overloaded with the decorating opportunities, amount of space and options... but all in due time. For now... its all about cleanin out the clutter and getting a move on.

Ohio, here we come.

In Other News:
Auntie Maynan has been bitten by the buying bug and is currently looking into home purchase. Do it Maynan, before you see what I have bitten off and get scared away! LMAO. There's safety in numbers, for those of us who are ignorant & Cuh-RAAAAY-ZAY!!!

-over and out-

Might as well....

2007-01-08T21:53:00.000-06:00

I don't often jump on blogging bandwagons... and I am not quite sure if I have ever answered a survey, but this one tempted me. Maybe because I have an extreme obsession with being "tested". Not in a "I gotta pass my Socical Studies test" kinda way (maybe thats why I got a D in social studies) but more in the clinical "am I literally crazy and don't really know it yet" kinda way. So therefore, when i saw the opportunity to take a HumanMetrics Personality Test, I was all over it.

In general it said I am a Teacher/Idealist. Go ahead, you tell me, does this sound like the No no, Bad Dao that you know and love?

Theory I
Theory II

I think I may agree, but then I am not really sure if I like what it says about me.

Discuss. LOL

-over and out-

Little Big Girl

2007-01-08T07:36:00.000-06:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

The 1st Step

2007-01-05T09:40:00.000-06:00

There are many 1st steps you take in life. Really, as I sit here and think about it, just about every little thing is a first step to something.

I have already had a few 1st steps in this New Year. Some of you know how I am not into N.Y. Resolutions. They really don't mean too much to me for the following reasons: ah) I never like doing personal things on timelines. Mine or anyone else's. bah) resolutions make me feel like its Lent all year long. And you know how well that's worked out for me, so yeah. Although the year that someone introduced the concept of Sunday's Off during Lent helped a little bit, I have never really been able to abstain from much, let alone for 40 days and nights. Say it with me: Cuh-raaaay-zay!

So, yesterday's first step was telling my jobbie job that I am leaving. I was nervous about this one, but I had to bite the bullet and see what happened. It went really well, but it was still strange and wierd.

Why am I leaving my job? For the first time, outted here: The Carter's are on the move again. In 11 days we will sign all the papers to close on a big, drafty, old house (built 1919) in Highland Square. And for those of you who don't know where that is, it's in the heart of Akron, Oh... the cool, hip, artsy, liberal, granola eating, craft fair throwing, buck the system West Akron. Just down the street from both Stan Hywet Hall AND Dr. Bob's house. I could totally give you a laundry list of who and what was started in Akron, but I will save that for some other day. And as an invite to any of my dear friends, know we will always have an open door, including Founder's Day Weekend, I know the hotels are always booked. (wink wink)

There's been a million ups and downs in the past few weeks, but it looks like we are in the home stretch. And although some of the snafus that we have encounted have totally sucked ass, we are moving forward with the best plan possible, and are totally going to make all this work... Cuz thats what I do!

So, all of that in mind, we are moving at the end of Feb. Not too soon, just soon enough.

In Other News:

I fell off the GH wagon, but just a little bit though. Like, I had 1 leg off, but am mostly still connected. I watched 4 episodes in the past 3 weeks. Its a slippery slope I know, i know. At first I thought I would just stop in and catch up a bit.... but then you always want to see what happens....but, I won't let it take over like it did before. I promise. ;-)

BTW, did anyone happen to catch this week's My Name is Earl "COPS" episode this week? Pure hysterical genius. Completely solidified my love for Jason Lee. I got that AND Twilight Singers on Jimmy Kimmel Live all in one week. Thank god I love TV, it makes up so many of my little joys in life. LMAO.

-over and out-

Crippled

2006-12-22T09:12:00.000-06:00

Its a shame that some people (like me) are crying cripples. Do you know what I am talking about? I am almost completely physically incapable of crying. And even when I do, its only like a slow leak of a few short tears. I have heard through the grapevine that a good cry can bring about a great emotional release.

I need that release.

So, how do I go about getting it? I used to have some really bad bad bad habits that equated to a good cry, but I am 30 yrs old (in a blink) and I think at some point you have to leave certain things to the teens. I could watch some sappy pap but I doubt that would work now either. I wore out Beaches and most Julia Roberts flicks before I'd turned 16. What happens to make people this way? I totally have emotions, and some of them want to rear their ugly little heads, but right above the throat something gets caught..... and this one, I think I'm gonna need to wrangle.

In Other News:

I would totally take snow over all this rain we've been having. Its so grey and unwelcoming, each and every day. I could use a little Christmas Cheer. We're headed out to Miller Beach to spend the Holiday and I am really looking forward to it.

I think someone should take the internet away from me since I don't have too much positive, or funny to say....

-over and out-

From the mouths of Babes

2006-12-17T09:07:00.000-06:00

Real quick, before I have to go get ready for my day (working on Sunday's blows sometimes, let me tell you) I thought I would share these tidbits from Elliott's conversations with us this am. And I am not joking, these are unaltered statements. Soon I will remember to take the italk with me into her room and actually catch some of this stuff on audiofile so that you indeed know, dear readers, that I am not completely full of shit. Kay?

My morning wake up call today consisted of Elliott pushing her feet against the wall and rocking her crib back and forth so that it slams into the wall making a HUGE banging noise. She thinks this is hilarious, and I am sure that if you asked our neighbors, you know, the ones who spend every weekend out till 4am while their kid is off with the grandparents, if this is the way they like to be woken up at 7:15am, I am sure they would totally agree. And do you sense a hint of jealousy? Yes, Yes you do.

Anyway, I go in and she throws a toy at me. So, you know, being the adult I throw it back at her and she says with all seriousness: "DON'T throw toys at me, its not POLITE!" And I said: "Uh, no, its not polite, but where did you learn the word polite and to use it correctly?" "From the Belle Book."

And all I can say is at least she learned it from a book, and not TV like I thought she was going to say. ha ha.

Then we had a morning backscratch share, and after Fer was done scratching her back she turns around and says: "daddy, can you scratch my other back?" And with that, she meant her front. LMAO.

Somedays its like a nonstop comedy show around here. I may have to start selling tickets!

-over and out-

OVERHAULIN'

2006-12-15T09:57:00.000-06:00

Dearest Kiddies:

please hang with me. I have a million items to share with you, i really really do. BUT, I want to overhaul this site and set you up with something lovely and beautiful for the New Year! Yeah! (can you feel it? sure you can!)

I am elbow deep in the Holiday Spirit and packing has begun. Let's just say, I am gonna take my hometown byt S-T-O-R-M. Can I get an AMEN my soul sistas? During all of this I have found my most cherished dark and depressing Christmas music to really feel the holiday among us. Nothing says anxiously awaiting the birth of one sweet baby jesus like music to slit your wrists to, right? LOL. Besides, don't all Christmas trees look better from behind a veil of tears? And isn't that how we are supposed to await our savior? All dreary & whatnot with antici--------------------pation?

No?

Oh, I thought all ya'll were catholic. ha ha. I think i was confusing the Season of Holiday Splendor with Tis the Season of Seasonal Affective Disorder.... Say it with me: No, No BAD DAO!

In Other News:

Apparently my kid is 2 going on 13. 2 days ago we were playing and I was teasing her about one of her toys being someone different, and she turned to me and said: "Actually Mommy, that's buzz again." And my first instinct was to say, "Holy shit kid, actually you're right." BUT, since I am going for the "Mommy who eff'ed their Kid up the Least" Award, I bit my tongue and said: "My little genius, you are so right. And I love that you use the word, actually." and she said" I am a genius."

Go figure. Maybe she can tell me how to get these damn Italics off!

-over and out-

AKRON

2006-12-06T08:21:00.000-06:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

This morning I asked Elliott what she wanted to wear, and she said "My AKRON shirt!" So here we are, all dressed and ready to face the day. Yes Mombi, it is a new chair. New/used anyway... my friend Paula from work got it from storage for Ellie... it was her son's little man rocker... and I believe Ellie's new fav chair.

there are a million and one things I could talk about right now, but after spending the better part of my day on the phone... i think i am just all talked out. BUT, before leaving you, I want to wish a SUPER-DUPER-CARTER-STYLE HAPPY FRIGGIN BIRTHDAY to one Miss Kel-Belle Carter. I hope you are having a good one... wish we were there.

-over and out-

Sparkle pjs & a NEW dora hat

2006-12-03T07:21:00.000-06:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

courtesy of "gramma sparkles"

Off to see the Wizard...

2006-11-30T06:45:00.000-06:00

OK, I get that when its 60 and sunny for Thanks-giving that somehow, we must pay for that reward. I also get that when winter hits, it hits hard and fast. But this? This snowy rain that I see this morning? I am not sure I signed on for this.

I am not sure I signed on for the new attention span that my daughter has aquired in the past week. Before if she called Mommy a few times and I didn't answer, she would just roll over and go back to sleep. But for 4 nights now, she calls MOMMY ad-nauseum, insessantly, in the same droning tone.... starting as early as 5am... until we get up somewhere around 6:45.

I'm sorry. Did you miss the memo that clearly stated that unless it is a DIRE Emergency, This Mommy does not begin work before 7am? Check your inbox and get on that reading thing. This one was as important as your TPS report cover sheet. Get it?

In Other News:

Sounds like Fer is outta the shower, and she is still droning my name... i think that means I have to go and be more productive. I have to pack up all my stuff for the whirlwind adventure that was decided upon last night around 8pm. 2nd to last Ohio Tour 2006 commence. Yucca, I am calling you when I am on the train... if you call me first... i may eat your baby.

-over and out-

MY SNOWMAN!

2006-11-28T07:01:00.000-06:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Thanks to Fer for decorating our house in a minimal way for Christmas this year, since I was thinking maybe we would just skip it due to how busy we've been and will continue to be. But, just like last year, he rose to the occasion and I came home to a pretty Charlie Brown Tree, fully decorated, and one singing snowman. At first, Elliott was afraid of the snowman... still unsure of the world between moving things that are alive, and moving/talking inanimate objects. Sunday afternoon, she wanted nothing to do with the singing snowman. By Sunday night however, (which in the world of toddler is apparently a lifetime) Snowman has become one of her favorite toys since "Elmo Loves You". It sits at a toy piano and sings in 2 minutes a medly of songs: Let it snow, Jingle Bell Rock and Have a Holly Jolly Christmas. Being that it is not even Dec 1 yet, and I have heard this medly no less than 200 times, please excuse me if we have Christmas on Dec 10 and call it a day.

Because taking it away or turning it off, well, my daughter is too smart for that. She runs right over to it, turns it over and flips the switch, or looks all over, high and low, climbs the bookcase if she needs to, because something that she loves has been taken away and needs rescued. And if that is not enough for you to prove that Markoviciousness is genetic, then really, I can't imagine you know me at all. (wink wink) The ends of the earth you say? No Prob. How bad could it be, a 5 day trip at most?

In Other News:
I've been losing my mind a bit these past few days.... losing sight of One day at a time, let the path unfold and HALT. You would think I joined up and all, but really, it makes a ton of sense to me. Gotta get back to basics. So I did the girl thing last night, wrote it all out, used my guidance cards and man, do the answers show up as soon as you calm down long enough to get the message.
Today, grey or not, I am going to enjoy this last gift of 60 degrees before winter really sets in.
Thank you.

-over and out-

Oh the Joy

2006-11-28T07:00:00.000-06:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Happy Birthday Mister Akron

2006-11-20T08:49:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday today to the one and only Mister Akron. In the history of Akron, I think this one guy takes the cake as full knowing and being all there is to be of this Great American City. I think I need to pick up and few books and get back in the game if I ever want to be Mz. Akron. And not in the way that my sister was/is Miss Greater Akron... like the punk version. Or something. I dont think its possible for me to wear a crown and a nose ring at the same time. It like, clashes.

Its strange to know, love and be a city that is referenced in a million ways by people who think they know... but they have no idea. Like on ER last week the crazy Jesus freak character (i watch religiously, but never bother to learn the new kids names till they've been on at least 2 seasons... people come and go so quickly here, why get attached.) Anyway, that one, the born again, starts talking about Dayton, OH and then mentions that she's from Akron anyway. Akron huh? Always makes me want to mix my tv show metaphors and say: What you takin' bout Willis?

But I digress... I am still wrapping my head around the fact that there are only a mere 3 days till Thanksgiving (which in my mind i pronounce: Thanks-giving) Maybe its that southern hillbilly i picked up somewhere along the way. Maybe its a genetic thing, but there is a part of me that always makes me want to thank Mike Haynes for that one. (oh dear sisters, are you ROTFL?) Or maybe its the stress on the thanks part comes from Fer and I watching the Secret last night... or I watched as much as I could before I turned into a pumpkin at 9:30 because the day had kicked my ass. In a good way, but I was DONE. It all comes down to the Laws of Attraction, which I firmly believe in. I have a million anecdotes I could relate here to prove my point, and as H. Harvey Gold says: "He who has the most anecdotes at death wins" and to spare you now I will just say... i think i could be winning. ;-) I have a long life ahead of me I know, but seriously... I have a lot.

The sunshine I asked to meet last week has finally arrived, literally, and i am sitting in the warm glow. Today is going to be a good day, and the week is shaping up to be quite sunny & balmy. So here is my Thanks.

In Other News:

I have too many things I should be doing right now, but I just really wanted to stop in and say Hi since being neglectful to you, dear internet, is putting it mildly. I love you. Stick around, I'll be back soon.

-over and out-

Losing it

2006-11-15T11:22:00.000-06:00

Gross right? I am in the process of finally losing my black nail. Its been 2 months in the making already and after flying this weekend to San Francisco something strange started happening in there... and this is where we are. I am afraid to take it off anymore than whats there, because i think there are lots of nerves still connected, but for now... i am hoping it grows off quickly and I am not left with some gimp nail that never grows properly. We'll see.

San Francisco was awesome, btw. There were bits and pieces that I had never crossed paths with before, spent some time in union square... all good. Good wine, food and conversation.

In Other News:

Sorry for being so lame these past few weeks with updating. I swear, I will wear the green boots more and the wittiness will abound. Just hang on....

-over and out-

To be a woman...

2006-11-08T09:11:00.000-06:00

...Does it really mean that we have to express and experience a love of shoes? I did not think so before yesterday, but I am beginning to change my mind on this matter. Above are the boots I purchased last year, online, after some intense brousing with Rittle Rizzy (read: 2 1/2hrs online). We stumbled across these, teetering at the edge of the internet, and in that instant, I knew no matter what, my sleep would be disrupted until I had them in my closet. Now, some of you know this is not a common experiece for me... I suffer from horrible buyers remorse and rarely shop anywhere that pants cost more than $30. And even that's a stretch. BUT, these shoes were different. They spoke to me. They were telling me I could be a better person, do better things, enjoy life more if I had them. And so far, one year later, they did not lie. Until Yesterday:

I saw these amazing boots in the window of a store I rarely walk past because I know that it will only get me into trouble. You know, the kind of store that only has about 35-40 items at any given time... you get what i'm saying. But when I saw these.... they too spoke to me.... After I caught my breath and the pounding in my ears quieted. Check the side detail:

That's hot right? They are comfortable and unique, and so...ugh, I hate to even say it.... so ME. And now they are mine. And I will be a better person, enjoy life more, say even wittier things.... I know it. I mean, shoes like these, how could they lie? Riiiiiiiight?

In Other News:

Changes are afoot 'round the Carter Compund. Some of you know, some of you don't. This is the interesting part however: I set my intention 2 days ago, specifically requesting for the outcome of these elections to reflect the greater good. In that, there is no room for error. Yucca called this a.m. to share that Ohio has gone Democrat again, including Governor (which hasn't happened since like '82) and all important levey's passed for the schools, metro parks, libraries, as well as the smoking ban. To those of you that still smoke, I am sorry. But for the Quitters out there like me.... Word Up!

-over and out-

Afterglow

2006-11-03T08:36:00.000-06:00

The post-show afterglow is an amazing thing. My body aches from the constant fist-pumping, ass shaking, jumping up&down, screaming 2 1/2 hours of ROCK that was last night. Powder Burns is definately my Favorite Twilight Singers album, and last night rivled that of any show that I have ever attended. It might be due to the fact that I am beat, for living the last 2 days like a rockstar, with rockstars is not something that I am super good at anymore.... what with all the baby things that go on in this house from time to time. ha ha.

I fell into bed last night sometime around 3am, much earlier than the night before as a matter of fact. I have been up the past 2 mornings on less than blinks of an eye amounts of sleep to see Fer & Bean off to work/school.... and now i am thinking that my brain & body could use some rest.

So for now... thank you thank you thank you Scott, Yucca, Brian & Carey.... its been so freaking awesome.

-over and out for now-

UPDATE: it is now about 2:40 and only minutes ago I rolled over for the 1st time since laying down at 9am. What an amazing time, and I feel so alive.

Morning potty

2006-10-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

I don't even know what to do.. .this kid is gettin soooo big. 1st of all, I can't believe enough time has passed to have a 2 year old, and 2nd she is so freaking funny, i just can't get over it. She keeps taking her socks off in the night and putting them on her hands as gloves. she loves it. and she puts my gloves on her feet and calls them monkey feet. Where she comes up with this stuff is beond me. But this am, i just wanted to share with you all a quiet, super cute moment.

-over and out for now-

Enjoy

2006-10-23T11:45:00.000-05:00

Black as your soul

2006-10-19T20:52:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

So, I know its a little blurry, but i thought i would just take a moment to update you on my super black, super gross fingernail. I have yet to lose it, but i know its just around the corner.

I have a million things to update you on, photos to share, thoughts to expand upon, however, i am in the beginnings of visit #4 out of 5 for the month... so.... yeah, i think its gonna have to wait.

One thing i cant wait on tho, is sharing the fact that i was called for Jury duty this week. One good thing about the Cook County Criminal Court system is that its a 1 day only situation if you dont get called to a jury. So, i went on tuesday, at the crack ass o' dawn and watched 2 movies on this here laptop before i was sent on my merry way with a check for a whopping $17.20. I have 2 questions in regards to this: 1. whats with the .20? In all honesty, it seems that having change at all associated with this arrangement and not having it be at least in .25 incriments is just.... degrading. seriously. I mean, if I had been picked to serve on a jury, that means that for the duration, i am being paid $2.15/hr, which, last time i checked, was below minimum wage for a citizen, which you have to be to serve in the first place. Let alone i MAKE more than that just doing laundry in the comfort of my own home, soooooo I am here again because why? Riiight. Civic duty.

Well, that brings me straight to question #2: In my civic duty that pays less than the hourly wage of most non-citizens, are you, dear government, going to request that I pay taxes on my measly paycheck? OOOHHHH WAIT! Is that where the .20 comes from? No f-in shit... did I already pay those taxes? Bastards. clearly, not even my unbiased opinion is worth much....

-over and out-

The Morning After

2006-10-05T09:18:00.000-05:00

There's supposed to be a photo with this post, one of my messy, smoke-filled hair and no makeup, just to show you the after glow I still have from Joe Arthur's set last night at Double Door. Blogger is letting me down however, and who knows when it will finally show up out of the ether. Have a good laugh at my expense when it does.

Anyway, back to the show: It was the first time that I have seen him with a full band, and this is a notice to all of you who may have the chance to catch him sometime on this tour.... DO IT.
It was awesome. He was in fine fine form... gettin all up and crazy with his singing quite evangelical in motions. I wonder if hanging out with Greg Dulli is rubbing off on him... seems that way, and you KNOW thats something I am happy about. Seriously, it wass good times. We chatted as per usual for a moment after the show.... ah, Akron connections. ha ha.

In Other News:

My dad has been here visiting all week, and its been really cool. It was an unexpected trip, and enjoyable since he's not been able to visit much at all over the past 6 or 7 years. So that is where my lack of screen time is coming from.

Really though, you should not expect too much from me since for the next 4 weekends we have visitors from out of town that i am REALLY FREAKING excited about. But, dont forget my undying love for you, dear internet, and know that I am never really that far away. (wink wink)

-over and out-

BFF's

2006-09-27T10:10:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Come see about me

2006-09-22T09:13:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting in the dining room, surrounded by bills to pay, paperwork to look through and file... the 12 month planner open and fully marked and planning out my life into 2007. Looking out the window at the trees bending, some breaking, in the wind blowing through. It's one of those days where I can feel the electricity... the energy moving. Like the wind can blow straight through you.... move one thought/feeling from the location you safely tucked it away into, straight out and in clear view.

Choices choices choices.... I wake up every day and I choose this. I choose to eliminate patterns of behavior. I choose, more often than not, to not replay scenes that have no service. I will choose to be in love, and lovely, and free of fear... think of all the things that hold you back... fear of letting go, being accepted, being cared for. How often do we not even ask the ones around us to care for us. I choose to believe that I am, that I will be cared for. And I will return that feeling. I refuse to believe my motivation will come from any other place.

Have fun, do good things. Take care of eachother. .... can you hear what's being said inside of the simplicity? Are you willing and able to rise to the occasion? Ingrained in my subconcious, it may very well be one of the best gifts that I have been given....

In Other News:

Today's theme song is Electrical Storm by Joseph Arthur. I think I am going to buy his new album today.

Other than that, today's a day to just feel the love. Feel the love that's coming thru.....

-over and out-

Finished

2006-09-20T10:26:00.000-05:00

look at me, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Fer was super awesome and took all these photos of the chairs that I finished this weekend. (if you click on the photo it will take you to the others) My finger is still all sorts of messed up from hammering the shit out of it.... but overall I am no worse for the wear.

I'm excited about the finished product, and this was the largest undertaking of recovering that I have ever done. But I think they are pretty cool..... with the brass-tack finish on the sides of the back and the hot pink detail around the top of the chairs.

Can you tell I am proud of myself? LMAO.

In Other News:

The colder weather is setting in and we are going shopping this weekend for fall/winter clothes. I have to admit that I am kinda excited about fall... I am also getting tix for the 2 Twilight shows for Nov.... and I know you already know that I am totally peeing my pants over that. In 1 month I am going to see Joe Arthur, Hamell on Trial w/Dan Bern no less, and TWO Twilight shows. On top of the fact that Jason & Cassandra AND Brett & Deb are visiting in the month of October..... my head may actually explode with joy before thanksgiving even gets here.

And as I am thinking of thanksgiving, I can not believe that its been almost 2 years since we moved here. Its been 1 year since both bean & I started school and 1 year since she was in the hospital. Holy shit... its all sinking in....WOW. One day at at time gets ya there, but its amazing how far we've come. I love this wild ride.

-over and out-

"Not a Finga!!"

2006-09-14T08:36:00.000-05:00

Some of you have already seen this photo of Bean & Lau at Fer's page. But for those of you that have not, I thought it was worth reposting it here for 2 reasons: 1. Aren't they cute together? Now if only we could get Elliott to stop trying to take out Lilah's eyes, all would be well. 2. It slightly showcases the new green medallion rug we picked up last weekend.

We've been doing some stuff around here to warm the place up for fall. New rug, new dining room chairs, and I put together some of Elliott's paintings to form 2 sizeable abstract art works; 1 for the living room, 1 for our bedroom. And I must say, its all turning out pretty cool.

This last weekend, I decided that I wanted to start back up with some knitting and sewing ideas, so I cleaned my side of the basesment and started getting things in order. Fer and I got these 2 chairs a few months ago that we re-finished the wood on, and I finally found some fabric that I loved, so yesterday I decided to take on the task of recovering them. Isn't it awesome?
I only had time yesterday to recover 1... and its almost finished. It was WAAAAYYY more of an undertaking than I had anticipated, although totally worth it to do it right. However, last night around 8:30 when I was trying to finsh the back, catastrophy struck:

In all my years of home improvement work, which is a lot since I am a Markovich, I have never once hammered a digit. Last night, not only did I hammer it, I hauled off and square on smashed the shit out of my finger. I am not ashamed to admit that I was so shocked after it happened that I thought I had completely shattered my top knuckle, but also that I was hyperventilating in the kitchen as I was icing it down and cried for probably 20 minutes. Shortly thereafter I called it a night and just got into my pjs and bed. I think it was around 9:15.

Today, while still throbbing and swollen, I can at least move enough of the rest of my hand to function. I have my fingers crossed that I don't lose the nail... hence I would not be able to work for awhile. Kinda gross to be touching someone's skin with an open wound, ha ha. Good times, riiight?

In Other News:

Twilight dates have been announced, and I am SOOOO going to the Double Door 2 nights in a row come november. That's hot. And tomorrow night we have friends from LA coming over for dinner that we have not seen in over 2 years. Even with a gimp finger, things are looking up up up.

-over and out-

Spaghetti Please!

2006-09-12T18:51:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Tonight after work Fer & I rushed off to Elliott's "school" for Parent-Teacher night and circle time. Its when we get to find out how great our kid is, how much everyone at school loves her, and that she's the smartest. Its pretty cool, I won't lie. We talked all about her bump and gash she got while climbing the slide and missing a step (she'll live). She showed me Pepper the BIG bunny that is her classroom mascot and proceded to shove her tiny little hand through the metal cage to touch it over and over again, making her wrist & hand swell and having no problem with pepper acting out a little in the meantime. Maybe we have a future vet in our midst?

But the real topic, the only place so far that Bean is not far surpassing everyone around her, is potty training. I know i know, she just turned 2 BUT, the concept has been there, so now at school they try to get them to go potty. Her teacher was telling me how she talkes about going potty, but only plays pretend with it. Which is kinda the same way she's been at home. No real interest in the Sesame Street potty, Princesses potty, or Care Bear pull-ups. UNTIL tonight.

I thought i'd change it up a bit in my approach, so we talked about it, tried them out, found out she likes 1 better than the other for comfort (princess won) and we tried before and after her bath. AND just as I was about to give up, she went tinkle in her potty!!!! The look of shock and awe on her face, and I am sure the grin on my grill was outstanding. I think we have a kid ready to start potty training. As a mom, it was super thrilling.

Here's to more bathroom function talk (like there's not enough around here already) and less diaper rash. Every parent's dream........

-over and out-

A Million and 1

2006-09-11T09:06:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that a few weeks has passed and I have been soooo neglectful. Maynan may demote me to the "never updates" section of her blog if I don't hand out something... so here's my 5 minutes post, not in order of importance, but in order of what the hell pops into my mind:

Elliott Beans site has been updated... new video of her climbing on vacation and singing itsy bitsy spider & ABCs now available for all you that have been waiting with bated breath. Get to it

Its been kinda cool, so this weekend I made the 1st batch of Chili & cornbread of the season. YUMMY. I just love being cozy.

Its official, The 3 J's are moving back to Ohio at the end of this very week. Confirmation came by phone last night as John & Jett were hanging out. I just cannot wait to meet that kid, AND spend some quality time with The Weakland's Ohio Style like we been talkin' bout for almost 6 years now. I am bursting with Joy.

There are other Ohio things that have me bursting with Joy as well, and I am trying to keep the lid on somewhat before all of a sudden Fer comes home from work and the house is in boxes. ha ha. Jason & Cassie-Jane's house should be built sometime in NOV I could just see going to Ohio for the holidays and spending time with our friends that have begun life again there. John asked me last night if I thought they would be able to withstand the Winters again, and i think its like this: if you never move out of winter, to find there are other options out there... i think you always kinda dread it. But, once you move away, and then make the decision for whatever reason, that winter is worth putting up with because of X (family, job, life etc) you look at it differently.... its not so bad really. And isnt Christmas supposed to come with snow? It always felt so foriegn any other way.

I can't really think of anything else that I wanted to throw out there at this moment. Possibly because I have about 1/2 hr to get my ass out the door for work and I haven't yet showered. AWESOME! Here I go:

WAIT WAIT WAIT: I remembered the MOST IMPORTANT THING: Twilight Singers will be adding a short midwest leg of their tour for sometime late Oct/nov/dec. I am waiting with antici----------------------------------------------------------------------------pation.

over and out

Welcome Back, Carters....

2006-08-28T08:46:00.000-05:00

Well, we made it. Back into the land of the living from a week in northern Wisconsin. When they said we were going to Wildman Ranch, they were not kidding. I saw death only once, during my extreme ATV ride up and back down the side of a mountain. It was over 2 hours long, and extremely hard, let alone for a first timer. BUT, much to my dismay while I was doing it, I finished the trail and I have toadmit our guide was right, I am damn proud of myself. Who cares. I only burnt my ankle once and its healing well. lol.

I also got to join in on the horseback riding, which I had not done since I was a young girl, and it was amazing. 2 hours of trails through the northern woods on the most beautiful and pristine morning. The sky looked like a painting all day... it really was serene.
Most of the time Elliott and I got to hang out and walk around in the wilderness, drenched in Deep Woods Off. It was awsome for me to see her so excited about all the new things she was encountering, and it reminded me of where I grew up... all the time I spend in our ravine as a kid; dreaming, getting lost, planning life. Yes, I was a planner even then.

And I think during all this, Fer and I came to some resolutions: we are really spending time reflecting and figuring out what we want, what it all means to us, what we see for our future, and its really exciting. There's a lot of life to be lived, and we are gonna make our mark on it. And maybe even take a vacation just the 2 of us..... someday.

We also came face to face with our little climber. She was all over the alpine tower climb... claiming "I can do it daddy, I can do it daddy, I can do it." as we let her make it as far up as we felt comfortable. We'll put a video up of it as soon as we can... since we came home to work every day for me (sat-thurs) and Fer is headfirst in catchin-up round his place. And so it goes, back to the grind, happy to be back, with some good memories and great photos. But for my next vacation, I have my fingers crossed for a sandy beach somewhere, a little shade, and a nice breeze. Wink wink.

Tree hugger at Heart

2006-08-16T09:40:00.001-05:00

As I sit here this am, eating my bowl of Organic Granny Smith Granola with Soy Milk, listening to Nada Surf, with my unshaven armpits I can't help but think..... what the F happened to that Punk Rock girl we all used to know and love?!?!? Man have I mellowed or what.

I guess I always knew I was a tree hugger at heart, but somehow, finding long losts on MySpace last night (hi Jason!!) I was smacked in the face with where I've come from.... and its been a kick ass journey so far.

(oh, BTW mom, you might want to stop reading here, but if not, don't say I didnt warn you:)

It was in the basement of Jason's mom's house that I took acid for the first time, on spring break, 1994 and had a horrible, horrible time. Bob & Jason tried to make it up to me, you know... like guide me to get me outta it, and it almost worked, till I realized I had curfew. We had to have Jason's mom drive my car home... that was after I spent almost 2 hours crying on his front stoop cuz i couldn't figure out what was happening to me. HA HA HA. Thank god I was too young to know that I ought to be embarrassed by that, and that Bob, Jason & Geoff were nice enough, were friends enough, that they didn't make fun of me for it. Thats really a test of friendship, now isnt it.

In case you are wondering, no, I never did take acid again, (although I wish I could say the same about some other subtances). I was too afraid it would land my unstable ass in the nuthouse, and let's be honest here... most days I only thought I had a hall pass from it anyway. LMAO.

So the memories.... they keep coming back.... and lets just say I am lucky enough that the majority of my life thus far has consisted of good times........... good times.

-over and out-

Peter, I've lost my marbles

2006-08-15T08:31:00.000-05:00

Well, maybe I haven't lost my marbles, this time, but it seems as though possibly everyone is on the verge. Everywhere I turn these past few days, almost everyone I know is doing something/ saying something drastic. From being bitter and quitting jobs, to flying off the handle and overall extreme distress, I really couldn't figure it out. Then Fer mentioned that it is SOOOO extreme, that it must be cosmic. And then I remembered..... AH HA! It is:

I attended this event called "Cosmic Trends" a few weeks back and it was all about astrology and planetary alignment and what's going on around us and in the future, very interesting stuff. And all I have to say is for the next 4 weeks be VERY VERY careful. With everything. Apparrently there is a cosmic shift that astrologers have been watching for the past 2 years, and it is happening now. So, if you dont want to lose that nice jewelry, put it away for 4 weeks. If you don't want to be taken the wrong way, say nothing. If you don't wanna wreak your car, WAIT a second longer before making the turn. Its kinda a shift that brings about Murphy's Law In case you are a nerd bird like me, the alignment is Saturn opposing Neptune with 2 eclipses... so what that means is a direct butting of heads between our logical minds and our spiritual beings. Amazing stuff really, but some of you may think that I too have lost my marbles. Oh well. The point is, just hang in there everybody, its gonna be ok.

In Other News:

CARTER FAMILY VACATION 2006: T-MINUS 4 DAYS AND COUNTING!!! WILDMAN RANCH, HERE WE COME.... CAN YOU TAKE IT? I think our family t-shirts should read: Winners Never Quit, and CARTER'S Always WIN.

MAHAWWWWHAWWWHAWWW

Givin' me my reminders

2006-08-11T10:49:00.000-05:00

Good Morning Dear Internet. It's cool and breezy here this am, slightly overcast, and if I did not know better, I would think that fall is on it's way. I know its only temporary relief from the summer heat, but it is so welcome.

Maybe with the weather, I woke up contemplative. Maybe it's the 21 day purging cycle I am in after my first Reiki atunement.... maybe both. All I know is things are flittering around in here, and I want to let some out.

For whatever reason, I decided to go back through my archives and read/remind myself of where I have come from to be here today. I want to say thank you again to all of you for listening, supporting, helping out, and in general, just holding my hand through everything. Every happy and sad thing that has happened in my life, that I have put out here to share/vent about while becoming a mother, moving across the country, living and moving forward, you have supported me.

I am on an interesting road these days, through therapy, reiki, love and trust I am finding a new way. Maybe I am finding what I always knew was there, and i am listening. Either way, for the first time in a long time I feel a blooming. I have begun to recognize choices that were made, best at the time, how they added stress and hardship to an already hard situation. Fer and I are finding ourselves again, and realizing that this is FUN. This life that is happening, ready or not.... we keep rollin, and its good. I can see how not to withdraw, retreat, seclude and deny what is difficult... it only makes it more so. I am letting go of a lot of things I thought I needed to feel safe, for safety is not realized by fear, and things are moving forward.

I am starting to feel the first pangs of wanting to have another child. My mom told me once that you have your first child to have it, and the second to do it right, and I can see now, how accurate that is. I mean, parenting in general seems like guesswork at best on a good day, but now that Elliott is 2, and my baby is becoming a child, I see how fast 2 years flies by, and how little things that threw me in the beginning would not be as daunting now because you begin to realize that everything really will be ok. And it is.

I see photos of us, when she was a bundle, and remember how I thought fairly often that I was going to fail at this job. That I was going to let her down. And now I realize, that I may. I may let her down, at some point in her life. But, I know I won't mean to, if I do. And I know that living in fear of that is worse than just learning to accept myself, try my hardest and know that I love Elliott at least as much as my mom loves me, and with that, we can do anything.

So I want to see, I want to see how different choices and learning from past pitfalls, could make a difference the second time around. Not a difference in the kid mind you.... but a difference in my experience of it all. And believe it or not, the hardcore truth is I want to experience delivery again. I'm not saying anytime soon. I am just saying that this morning I woke up, and the notion was there, accepted and welcome in my mind. We'll see where we go from here.

In Other News:
A day early (8/12):
Happy Birthday Mom. I know you won't read this on the weekend. I love you. Thanks for teaching me everything I know and always being here to share in it, good and bad. I know I am too independent for my own good, and i am starting to come back around. Thanks for always waiting for me.
xoxoxoxo
gayle

Sick Day

2006-08-09T09:22:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

It's 9:24am, and Elliott is home sick from school. Monday night, sometime in her sleep, she threw up. It was strange... no noise, no calls for me or Kris.... nothing. But we all awoke to a terrible scene in her bed, and at 7:10am she was stripped down and in the tub and I was doing laundry & cleaning floors. But she was no worse for the wear, and there was no fever, so off to school and work we all went. Last night for dinner, again... all things good to go... she ate a big dinner and was happy happy happy.

I went off to my Reiki attunement, (I am now level I!!) and when I got home, I went in to check on her as usual. She shot up out of a dead sleep the moment I turned the door knob, and told me she wanted a diaper change. No Problem! Except the moment I picked her up, I knew something was wrong... sure enough, within moments she was throwing up. Big time. After it was over, she was super sweet talking to us and Lilah, seeming fine, again. Not for long.

At 2:15am, I decided that it would be easier if I set up a makeshift bed on her floor. We slept till this am without any more incidents, and still no fever, but I can tell she is worn out. After breakfast we took a catnap on the couch together, and since then she has alternated resting on the couch and the floor.

My little cookie is hangin tough though, and has a mellow/lovey vibe today. Its mild out today, so the windows are open, and if we need to, we'll stay in our pj's all day.

Elmo cake tastes better

2006-08-05T18:40:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Good Morning, I'm TWO!

2006-08-03T08:06:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Not to be outdone by loving kindness

2006-08-02T08:58:00.000-05:00

What I have been fearing the worst, until teenage years that is, is the terrible two's. I've known for some time that they were upon us... right around 18 months I started to see glimmers of impending doom. Now, I will admit that I have an incredibly mild-mannered, happy child overall, however when she blows a gasket or has a meltdown it is that much more of a confusing and horrible event. Partially because I am so not prepared for it, and therefore have no reasonable response, but I digress.

Ms. Elliott Rose Carter has learned to pitch fits that get her a timeout. And the interesting thing is that she wants the time out, all the way to the point of actually getting it. She will smack, talk back, yell at you to "Get out! Go to your Room! CLOSE THE DOOR!!!!!" all the way to smiling coylike and whispering "time out?" And of course, mad as hell, I say, Do you WANT a time out, because that is exactly what you are going to get if you do that one more time.

And she says: "One more time!" and does it.

And the screaming starts. Flailing of the limbs, crocodile tears, snot, and screams for BATI! ELMO! anything to drive the point home that she needs comfort, and I am SO not the one that she wants. It is so NOT a good time, but I hang strong. For I fear, fear is no way to control this one. She has none, and it does not look like she'll be aquiring that emotion anytime soon. But maybe thats a good thing.

Her new most annoying habit these days is when Kris and I are talking and not listening to her, she will tell whichever one of us seems appropriate: "Mommy, be QUIET." And she is serious as a heart attack. If you do not obey her command, she will repeat until you do. And do not tell her it is not nice, for that only brings the dragon out of the cave.

Oh, how I remember the days when all I wanted was for her to talk to me, and now, how I long for moments when she will BE QUIET.

In Other News:

Today is mad prep day for the weekend festivities, which we are ALL looking forward to. Ice Cream Cake, here we come! The slight summer cold I had last weekend is completely gone, thanks to 4xday of emergenc-c and things are lookin up up up.

-over and out-

#2, a week early.

2006-07-26T21:18:00.000-05:00

Dear Elliott,

Next week is your second birthday... we have been planning your party, decorations, gifts, etc all week, and it has really had me thinking about how much you've changed so quickly. Its amazing that yet another year has flown by, and you are not really my little baby anymore. Already, for the most part, you are a curious, independent, willful toddler who has a ready "Let Elliott DO IT!" attitude and statement for almost any experience.

This is honestly not surprising, since I tend to be rather willful myself... what has been surprising is how willing I am to step back and just let you do it. To see what you can find out on your own, with me there to cheer you on. I must say, it has created some amazing results.

You are also developing an extensive vocabulary, complete with the correct usage of delicious, absurd, and exciting, among others. You also have an amazing sense of humor, you love to show how funny you can be.... and you are right on. I love it when you say "I'm Funny! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Last night over dinner, Daddy & I thought we would be really smart and ask you what our names were... like you would only know to say mommy or daddy. And when I asked what Daddy's name is, you curtly responded with "Kris". When asked what mommy's name is, a very clear "Gayle" was uttered. But the most amazing thing was the look on your face, you looked at me as if we had lost our minds for #1, not knowing our own names and asking you, #2, thinking that you would not know what other people call us. Amazing.

These days you love to laugh and sing every song under the sun, completely and in time. So well in fact, that OTHER PEOPLE know what you are singing, (to name a few: ABCs, Itsy bitsy spider, twinkle twinkle, row row row your boat, and just so you can stand out in a crowd: the majority of The Beauty & The Beast soundtrack, AND Good nab & Goodnaght in GERMAN. {no, i am not freaking kidding}) You also love to have tea parties with Dora, Elmo & Zoe, using your "Bunny Linens" on laps and to clean up spills.

I just can't get over what a little girl you are becoming. Every morning when you wake up, your blue eyes sparkle with excitment, awe, love and wonder and I can't help feeling that I could loose myself forever in those moments. A friend was trying to make plans for a weekend coming up and I had to say that I only make plans with family and other people who have kids on the weekends because my time with you is so important. And as the words came out of my mouth I was amazed that I have become this person who is your mommy. I was not sure, or, i should say, am not always sure of what I am doing, but I know there is nothing I wouldn't do to spend more time with you and show you all my love.

Happy Birthday Bean-a.

Grand times

2006-07-18T08:35:00.000-05:00

Last night we recieved the long-awaited call, that I just knew would eventually come... our good friends John & Jenny are moving back to Ohio. There have been a million coincidences in our lives and relationship together, and the Ohio connection has always been a big one. I cant wait for us to reconnect there, now with baby Jett (is that not the most KICK ASS NAME EVER?) (well, aside from naming a girl Elliott anyway) in tow... I see great things in our future.

John was already planning the placement of the tents in his 2 acre back yard for the kids as we have an all-night bonfire, recalling the days past of camping in the San Bernardino Mountains. Good times, good times.

Looks like we may be able to build that utopian community Cassandra & I dream about yet. Ah, the modern-day hippies..... Let's get our Reiki on.

And, last but not least... a little snippet of Bean tryin to stay cool on a summer day:

She is saying: "come on Lau... dontcha wanna git in?

In Other News:

I am NOT saying I am going back, BUT in line at the store last night I saw the new ABC Soaps in Depth, AND they say Tamera Braun is headed back to GH. You KNOW that will be hard to resist. Long live Carly & Sonny.

(you see why its so hard to give up? Its like engrained in my DNA or something.)

-over and out-

If there were any doubt.....

2006-07-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

...that this girl is MY daughter it was proof putting yesterday when Fer picked one Bean-a up, in different clothes then what she started in, with this note. In case its not quite clear enough, let me help:

"Elliott threw up in her bed. She was fine, it was from her putting her fingers in her mouth. Please send extra clothes."

For those of you who read this and really know me, this is self-explanitory. For those of you who don't.... i'm a barfer. Always have been, always will. I don't mean I make myself throw up on purpose.... its just that, well, just about everything makes me throw up. I have one of the weakest stomachs known to man. And when I realized that my daughter likes to stick her fingers, spoons, crayons, whatever is at her disposal, down her throat so that she can gag a little and laugh about it, I knew bad things were on the horizon.

So, all I can really say is... I am glad someone else had to deal with it this time and not me. LMAO.

-over and out-

Queen Elliott & Princess Lilah

2006-07-08T09:01:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Queen Elliott awoke this am extremly focused... one goal in mind. And try as she might to work the remote for the TV she could just not find a Dora or a Belle. So being the ingenius child of almost 2 that she is, she started pleeding in other ways and it went like this: "moooommmmyyyy, watch Dora? No? Watch, Belle? Oh, watch Boots? Watch....... Benny? Watch...........TICO!!!! RIGHT?" And incase you have no young children currently, boots, benny & tico are all characters on Dora the Explorer.

Genius.

Princess Lau

2006-07-08T08:57:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Livin' the High Life

2006-07-06T08:37:00.000-05:00

So we're back (huh, stronger than ever/you'd think we'd severe/never/we're too clever/to be taken down clown/by your ignorant state of mind/but every time I look I find/you!) Woah! Where the hell did that come from? Oh, does anyone remember good old fashioned Boy Bands these days. LMAO. Anyway, we are back, in Chicago. Back to work and school and errands and dishes. It was a wonderful time in Ohio, complete with seeing people that I have missed for a very long time. I only hope that now, since the bridge does not seem so long, it will happen more regularly.

We spent a lot of family time on this trip, much to Lizzie's dismay since she was moving into her new apartment all weekend, but i think I scored some big sister points since I helped her move in all Friday morning and totally jacked my already damaged wrist and had to gimp it the rest of the weekend. Nothing says awesome more than a wrist brace in public. It soooo went with my outfits.

We played wiffle ball (thats what the GIANT red bat from above is all about) and TONS of badmitton, my FAVORITE game that is not played on a board. I wish I could play it all day every day. Can you say GA-Haaaay! Oh well, you are all getting used to my nerd bird qualities. How could someone who looks so cool be so lame, you ask yourself? And I would say, "really, its quite easy." But seriously, really take the time to check out that above photo. Check out the stance of our legs and the gooberish looks upon our faces, and you will see just how related we really are. Who does that? LMAO.

We then rocked Lou's massive July 3 party. Ran into some old friends yet again, and the desire to move home was completely concrete at this moment. In case you have not seen this on Fer's page, or my myspace, I thought i would also add it here for further enjoyment. Gotta love the Champagne of beers. Personally, I always opt for the 16oz cans of High Life, but I guess beggers can't be choosers after a few jello shots. Whoop Whoop! Haaaaaaayyyyyy! (Right?)

See? There you are Friends!

This photo may look harsh, but really, it was after he held me down so that Horak could attack me with a giant permanent marker, thereby leaving giant black streaks and bruises all down my arm. What can I say, I bruise easily. Good times, good times.

In Other News:

Its not too bad to come back to only 2 days of work before my weekend begins. Now, this weekend may not be filled with tons of fun stuff, because I have a checkup at the Dr, errands, and will be setting us up on a new budget, but let me tell you, the reasons for all those things that sound like pain and suffering are going to be totally awesome once they are revealed.

And NO, I am NOT pregnant or going to be anytime soon. Look at the above pictures! Jesus, just wait will you? All in due time, my pretties.

Homeward Bound

2006-06-28T08:43:00.000-05:00

This a.m. we awoke to a massive, yet short-lived storm, complete with hail, which i love. THIS is one of the reasons we moved back to the midwest. No, I am not kidding. In LA, whenever it rained (oh, say Nov. thru Feb.) it would just piss the whole time. Enough to make traffic shitty, not enough to make things interesting. No thunder, no lightening, no high winds, no.... well, nothing. I just love the, pardon the pun, electricity in the air that accompanies a good storm. I guess its that dose of adrenaline you get when you are reminded that in the grand scheme of things, you are about this big.

And so I move onto other things, shipping Bean & Fer off to school and work... finishing the laundry and dishes and packing the car so that we can get the Eff outta here for 6 days or so. Some of you know about the hellish day I had yesterday, both with work and the ill-fated trip to Target right after. Suffice it to say that for the first time in a long while, I took a big beating from the city, and I want to go home. I guess this vacation was perfectly planned.

I hope we can get togther with everyone while we are there... you know where to find us for the most part. And always check out Fer's Page for the deets on his show Friday night in Akron. I will be there, will you?

In Other News:

I kinda sprained my wrist somehow lobbing a 30lb bag of dog food into the trunk yesterday, and it still kills. I look like a total dork with a brace on it to keep from doing any further damage. If I feel secure enough in my Nerd Birdness, I will take a picture at some point so you can see just how stupid I look. Oh, and to complete my nerd bird transformation I am now going to itunes to purchase the new audio book by Al Frankin for the drive. Say it with me: N-E-R-D. You betcha.

-over and out-

Evidence!

2006-06-22T07:44:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Don't think I won't use this against her if need be in 12 to 15 years. I will totally post it on her myspace. thats all you need to know.

Attention

2006-06-22T07:15:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Ah, the undivided attention of a child and Blues Clues. Normally I would not have Elliott watching TV in the am on a school day. But today is different considering a few things: Kris has left for work before 7am every day this week, and Elliott woke at 5:30am, calling "Mommy! Mooooooooooommmmmyyyyyyy! Where are you? Where are you Mommy? Come in heeeerrrrreeee!" And, while I was not inclined to come in there, it was a really funny way to wake up. I pushed it as long as I could... and at 6:10 we were up. Such is life with child, just thought I would share.

In Other News:

Not much else is going on this week. I am gearing up for being carless for tomorrow thru sat morning as Fer has to go to Detroit for work. Good times... in all honesty, I can't really stand Detroit. Have fun, don't get shot. I will be busy getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow... since I have not had it cut since I decided to grow it out in October. I would guess its more than time.

And i just caught my daughter licking her own toes. Utterly Gross. I will see if I can get a photo to bribe her into good behavior in about 12years.

-over and out-

Rebirth of the Cool

2006-06-20T08:54:00.000-05:00

Do not fret, friends, I am a-ok now. I woke up yesterday still feeling like a truck had hit me in the night, but this am, other than being my normal groggy, I awoke well-rested, hungry, and maybe a little stronger from it all. Thanks for all your wellwishes, remedies and shared food poisoning stories. Nothing makes a girl feel better than hearing all about others puking into the wee hours as well. Love it.

Sadly though, I am pretty sure that most of the 6lbs I lost was water, and unfortunately as I rehydrate, I can feel it coming back. Looks like while I was not paying attention I entered into the relm of adulthood where you actually have to work at things... like staying fit and losing weight. Gone are the days that I could get sick and wake up 3 or 4 days later with a model body and 6 pack abs... damnit, i miss those days of less work. Oh well, at least I know for sure now.

Like my new headband? I thought you would. I don't know really what compelled me to buy it... i actually can't stand headbands. But I really like orange. And its like kinda 50s style. Or at least I try and make it that way. Can you tell I am still trying to talk myself into it? Or at least I am since I saw an article in The Chicago Tribune over the weekend stating "Headbands are IN for Summer". Thank you Media for making those decisions for us. Where would we be without you.

In Other News:

On the subject of Rebirth of the cool, Yucca pointed out that an Afghan Whigs retospective titled: Unbreakable: Afghan Whigs Best Of will be out September 19 by Rhino Records. I am sure that whatever material they supply on there, I already own, but I am such a Nerd Bird that I am so freaking excited to just own the packaging. Mark your calenders.

ps- i you can't figure out the rebirth and whigs connection... what kind of fan are you really.

-over and out-

It was........ Soap Poisoning

2006-06-18T17:13:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Well, not actually, more like food poisoning. Yes indeed... a fullblown case of bad thai food... from my favorite place no less. Its always great when you get let down by your favorites, right? Since yesterday I have thrown up no less than 30 times. For a few hours there i was throwing up every 15 minutes. It really really really sucked. On the bright side it seems I have lost about 6lbs in 24 hours. Thats always good right?

Thank god for tivo, TBS and home and garden televison, i have been in so much discomfort that home improvement tv and old crappy movies are about all i can stand. Its getting better now though, i can finally walk up and down the stairs without thinking I am going to need to sit down 1/2 way through, and I can hold my head up without feeling like its going to explode. I guess that means I am coming back from the dead, with how dehydrated I have been. At one point my hands and arms were numb for a few hours. Good times.

Rachel thinks I am a little crazy though because i was counting my food poisoning blessings as at least it was only me and not Elliott. I guess thats how becoming a mom changes you. Because I knew last night, as I was crying and crawling out of the bathroom asking to go to the emergency room, that everything would be ok in the long run.... that Kris would take care of me, and Elliott is a-ok.

Oh, and as a side note: we did not end up at emergency, we called my Dr's office and had her paged... and followed all her and the Texas Carter's directions and I have been on the mend. It really helps to get calmed down by family when the wife can't hold her head up and the baby keeps crying. So thanks Gary, Wendy, Uncle Matt & Nurse Kel-belle, yer the best.

Happy Father's Day

i thought i had something...

2006-06-01T08:42:00.000-05:00

But maybe I got nuthin.

Well, not exactly nuthin, but certainly not the something I was looking for. When i walked out the door today to take Bean off to school, the smell that surrounded us reminded me of The Outer Banks and all those summers we spent there... there is a distinct smell of ocean and nature, a dampness and coolness to the breeze that I have never experienced anywhere else. So I wonder, how did it follow me here, this am, and then disappear? I guess thats what memories are for.

H and I were talking last week about how growing up in West Akron sort of changes you, the way you look at your surroundings, and nature and all that. Like how i can still remember things by the color of the leaves on the trees, or the sounds of it all. Its like I am a tree hugger in a punk body. or something. Something, I guess thats what it is.

I was thinking the other day as I was chatting with a new friend... that inside my safety net is how I get to be more me... me for me, and for other people. That the fear of relationships is outweighed as I get older by becoming more comfortable in my little nest. Is this how life goes? Is this the way that we can let go of all that crap we start carrying around when we are young and dont know any better? Is it all about freedom inside of relationships? I think thats what does people in, feeling like it is the relationship that holds you TO or INTO something. But if that was really the case... why would we all be looking for companionship?

Wooah, maybe that was waaaayyy to deep for a thursday morning... But its been on my mind. Weigh in if you would like...

In Other News:

Elizabitu (her japanese name) is away in Japan... saving babies and being the the "golden headed tall one" everyone wants to take pictures with. Its kinda like she is her own tourist attraction. Maybe thats why I love her so much. Oh, and I am not kidding about her saving a baby... this is the email she sent upon arrival:

hey yall! im safely in the japan... things are good! its hot sweaty and sunny. we started our touring today and i have been stopped twice by strangers to take pictures with them and practice their english. it is wayyy funny. it appears that they like me because i am a "golden head" and look like the american prototype. Sanjusangendo and kyomizu-dera were amazing. i drank from the waterfall of wisdom. i also saved a baby! no really, i did. a japanese woman let her child out of the stroller and she took off. i ran after the baby and swooped her up right before she was going to fall down huge stone steps. the woman kept staying domo arigato and i was trying not to laugh. were off to shopping!

All i know is only Liz & Anne would save a baby, talk about it, and then say... "Well, off to shopping!!!" Awesome.

-over and out-

Woah, really?

2006-05-31T09:13:00.000-05:00

Ok, this is so not my style... for entertainment, to link to someone else's blog, that has a featured blogger story, but seriously, this will SOOOOO NOT disappoint. For Reals. http://h-harveygold.blogspot.com

Do it.

In Other News:

Still no GH, I know you want an update. I am having some withdrawl, but I am trying to hang in there. It's not quite as bad as when I quit the crack, but almost.

And you have no idea if I am kidding or not, do you? LMAO. Have fun with that.

-over and out-

Check it...

2006-05-27T10:08:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Girl's got braids

2006-05-27T10:07:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

29, clearly the new 19...Riiiiight?

2006-05-26T09:04:00.000-05:00

So, to reclaim our youth, (like its gone that far, but seriously, sometimes it feels that way once you have a kiddo in tow) Yucca and I set off on a small (for us) "Tour" with The Twilight Singers. She flew in for the Metro show, and I flew in for the Cleveland show. To be young and carefree, thats what its all about.

The Metro show was pretty rockin, it didnt even start till well after midnight and the openers were HOT! I highly suggest pickin up some Jeff Klein & DEFINATLY Italian supergroup AFTERHOURS. No doubt about it, those guys ROCK.

The show wed in cleveland was 10yrs to the day that Yucca & I flew to New Orleans to see The Afghan Whigs at the HOB. We hung out and partied till 4am with those guys, then took a ride from a drunk cabdriver, spending our last $8, to get away from crackhead Bob on the corner that night. This time was more mellow (on our parts) but we still managed to kick it with Scott Ford (bass) till around 2:30am. Good times. That guy is super cool, and it was a good time all around. Maybe I should talk a little more about the show, but come on people, it totally rocked and i STILL have ringing in my left ear (its been 2 days).

I dont know to what degree of "sober" Dulli is in these days.... but I will say, I cant remember the last time he looked so great. I mean, great.... it was good to see the twinkle back in his eyes. Can you say Charisma? That man has it in spades.

In Other News:

I am totally quitting GH. I know I know, I've said this before... but its over. Its time I got my life back. riiiight?

LMAO. Do It.

-over and out-

Recap, shall we?

2006-05-10T08:37:00.000-05:00

It's been kinda crazy around here since I returned from Ohio. Starting my new jobbiejob, family, mother-in-law in town, all of that has been keeping me... a bit occupied. I got back one week ago today, and feel like the whirlwind has been nonstop. I think Elliott has been feeling it too, the last few days she has been a bit hesitant about going to school in the mornings. I mean, once she gets there she is fine, its just the leaving she is not super into.

Last Saturday, the only day off I have had since returning, Fer and I woke up and decided that we would drive out to the Chicago Botanical Gardens for the morning and have lunch. It was beautiful:

Elliott stayed in good spirits and it was a nice way to come back home and spend some time as a family. Fer took most of the photos as I seemed to be having some issues with technology that day... who knows maybe my magnetic field was too strong for the camera that day. LOL.

And since then, its been a mass of work. For fear of Doocing myself, I am not going to talk much about it yet... lets just say that it seems to be a perfect fit, and on Monday I did major bucks in sales. Word up. I am caught up in a whirlwind of learning and energy... if I thought I learned alot in school these past 5 months, it was nothing compared to what i need to retain now... crazy. But I like it, i really like it. And stop calling it the Boomboom room.... it makes me sound like a stripper.

In Other News: (and speaking of strippers:)

Has anyone gone into Victoria's Secret lately? What is up with all the hooker/stripper undergarments? I just wanted to get some pj pants a tank and a new bra, and holy shit if I was not thinking that I had not just walked into Fredrick's of Hollywood! Whats up with the thongs of beads and jewels? And the feather peekaboo bras? I mean, hey, whatever is your thing, get to it, but seriously, I just want a nude bra today, can you hook a sista up without making me feel like I am gonna get crabs in the dressing room? Is that too much to ask?

Thanks.

-over and out-

It's the most wonderful time of the Year!

2006-04-25T08:19:00.000-05:00

Wait, what you say? The most wonderful time of the Year? Is that not a christmas song you say? And yes, yes it is. However, is it truthful for today? Yes good sir, YES it is.

I am sitting here in the dining room typing on my awesome laptop, listening to my new-to-me-slightly-used-Ipod, rocking out to the New Pornographers, and thinking about all the training that I did yesterday at my NEW JOB. The world is good. Elliott is off at another day full of wonder and excitement, Fer is calculating things at work, and I am planning/packing for our Vay-cay to Ohio.

So yeah, I have a jobbiejob and I am super super excited about it. I will not dooce myself here, but lets just say this is a good good place to be.

My ipod comes courtesy of MFDC, and it says so right on the back of the thing. My, the joy of having soo many gagets that you can part with one like its nothing. Thanks again MFDC... you really made my Spring, if not my year. Lets see how it all plays out. Thanks to Fer as well who has put in all the time in reformatting it, making the battery work, and loading it all with goodies for our trip. Niiiice. I know i know, how come I did not have an ipod already? I spent all the extra ipod monies on the one for Fer, our digital videocamera, and this laptop. Besides, sometimes inherited is better than brand new, wait till you check out the ingraving on the back of it. My ipod is sooo better than yours. or is that my ice cream. or... pie.... milkshake? I think you get it. LMAO.

So now, with coffee cup in hand, I am going to mosey over to the couch, fold laundry, and check in on our pals in Port Charles. Then I may or may not take a shower, since its cold and rainy here today, you just never know... and read some more of The DaVinci Code. I know that you have all read it already! And my mother in law gave it to me for my birthday in 2004. I have started this book a total of 6 times and never made it past the 3rd chapter. But, for some reason two days ago i picked it up, and I have not been able to put it down since! NOW i get what everyone meant 3 years ago... sometimes it takes me awhile.

Ok then, that is all the news... forgive me if I do not blog while i am gone... you know how it goes... partyparty rock in roll.

-over and out-

Bonding

2006-04-23T09:35:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

The Light Culprit

2006-04-19T21:29:00.000-05:00

This is how I found our light culprit last night. Elliott has known for awhile that she can turn on her own light next to her crib, and sometimes, that is just what she does so that she can see and talk to all of her little crib friends before falling asleep. I never know for sure when she is going to do it... I just pass her door and see the soft pink light glow escaping and I know... she's been working hard to undermine the bedtime routine.

This photo shows a little better the mess of toys and blankies, butt full in the air, every which way of hair and baby dreams. I guess these are the moments that parents live for... the quiet comfort of knowing they have a happy sleeping baby in the midst.

There is part of me that feels like I should move the light away from her crib, so that she can't use something electrical, that I should pare down her toys and whatnot, so that she can't suffocate in Elmo's rotund belly, that I should have waited to give her Auntie Maynan's Bati-blankie until she was in a big girl bed because it is almost large enough to be a "my 1st big girl bed" blankie... but then I think... And take away her independence? And leave her without her friends to talk to? And.... oooohhhhh baaaati..... blankie.... soooo soft and cuddly. No Way. I will just maintain the 2 to 3 times a night check-in... just to make sure that her animals are not strangling her in her sleep, and that bati-blankie is not over her head... and I swear, if i ever catch her knawing on the cord to her light, or abusing the light-switch power, i will move the light. Until then, WE'RE LIVIN ON THE EDGE!

In Other News:

I know its been awhile, but I am still watching you, dear GH. i've tried to give you up, and I just can't. Every time I think its the end then there's sweeps, and you just suck me back in. I am sooo happy with this new hatred between Sonny/Emily/Jason. And it will totally kick some ass to watch Sonny's demise as Jason takes over all the territory and leaves him in the dust. We all know that Jason has been handling shit for years... its about time he took control. And Emily is such a sniviling whining little bitch!!! Kill Her off Bob Guza! Kill Her! She is better suited to a CBS soap anyway. AND she should really consider cutting back on that botox... she'll never win a daytime Emmy with her unmoving browline... there's just no emotion there, no matter how hard she swings her stiff little hands around while talking. Mad props to the newest Carly btw... she is so not a tranny... and very reminicent of Sarah Brown, dontcha think?

On that note, i think its time for this nerd bird to go do something productive.

-over and out-

Birthdays are a blast!

2006-04-15T12:37:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Elliott went to her gal pal Hazle's 2nd birthday yesterday at a sweets shop down the neighborhood from us. Before the party was over we saw the look in her eyes... you know, the one that says, you have a 10 minute window to get me outta here... or things are gonna explode! We only live 3 minutes away from the place (by car) and in those 3 minutes she fell dead asleep, balloon in hand.

The weekend has been a blur so far, with the comings and goings and parties and things to do. We picked up some new light up elmo&Zoe sandals for summer, saw a new puppy, went to the birthday party, spent time with Rachel, had friends over for an impromptu Easter Brunch, and went to Anne & Glenn's for Easter Dinner with a fruit tart & 2 doz. cupcakes in hand. Busy busy busy.

The weather has been awesome all weekend until today, when the skies opened upon us and blew the umbrella inside out as i was trying to pull the kid from her car seat in the poring rain. Always good times round here.

In Other News:

I am trying to interview like mad to find the right place for good vibes and compensation for work these days. If you have any suggestions for where I should try and get a job... I'm open to them. ;-)

-over and out-

Good Morning, Goodbye

2006-04-08T07:41:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

This is Elliott in her new (slightly used) Care Bears pj's that Auntie Maynan sent along with the famed Bati Blankie. Whenever Ellie sees anything that Auntie Maynan has sent, she says the name of whatever it is, and MAYNAN! MAYNAN! And makes sure that I understand that she knows from who and where the treasure has come. As if to already rub it in my face that indeed, I am not spoiling her enough. "You love me Momma, but you did not give me this Bati Blankie. You are good Momma, but you did not find me these fabulous KA bear pj's. So there."

This morning is a little bittersweet... its my last day at AVEDA. I am pretty happy about finishing ontime since back in November, with a kid in the hospital, I thought there was no way that I would even keep going. I think back on those weeks, and how I was barely keeping my shit together, and I again thank god that I have a husband that will so step up to the plate to insure that none of us will fail. I am thankful that I have a Mom that will drop everything and stay to take care of me still.... even though I make it seem like I am too independent to need anyone. I guess what I have learned is that no matter what your age, everyone still needs thier Mommies from time to time. I am also thankful for my Stepdad who shared his time with mom to lend her out to me yet again. If you know either of them, you know how difficult a task like that could be.

Last but not least, thank you again, a million times over to all our other family members, friends and loved ones that called, emailed, shared tips for better health and hang in theres, over the past 5 months... while Elliott was sick or well, because it honestly did keep me going and helped to keep my eye on the prize. And here I stand, at my last day, with 2 interviews lined up for next week already, with one of the highest GPAs in my class... and I know that you all got me through, belive it or not.

Its a good thing I never got into the movies... my Oscar win would have been the whole show.... All 4 hours. LMAO

In Other News:

Yucca and I have decided that we need to recapture our youth and are going to catch a few Twilight Singers shows in a few different cities in May. Who cares if we are almost 30 with kids.... thats what the men are for right? Free Babysitters. LMAO........ Girl, you have NO CLUE how freaking excited I am for this. Its like I am 19 all over again. "In a coffeshop, in a city, which is every coffeshop, in every city, on a day, which is everyday."

-over and out-

A Picture Share!

2006-04-02T18:16:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Babies and Barf

2006-03-23T20:05:00.000-06:00

I guess I should say Toddlers and barf, cuz that's where we're at. Or that's where we were at.

For weeks we had been planning on taking Elliott to Grandy's neice (Gwenna) 1st Birthday party, waaaaaaaaaaaay the hell out in the suburbs. I took Saturday as a half day of school, and we were really excited. My Mom & H decided to head out here for a quick visit as well, so we thought, whatevs! the more the merrier!

And all's good in the hood till Friday morning... I woke up with a somewhat major cold. By Saturday morning (Party day) I was downing sudafed (blue happy pills), emergen-C and the pH miracle "green drink" trying to keep it all just non-toxic enough. As an aside: Monday when I went to buy more Sudafed with H, I had to turn over my drivers license and sign some papers (sick or starting my very first meth lab...you be the judge) good times, good times.

Anyway, I still took Saturday as a 1/2 day, and H, Mom, Me, Fer & Elliott all pile into the car for the almost 1 1/2 hr drive out to the burbs. We get there and Ellie is on FIRE. FIRE. Momma LOOK! Momma SLIDE! Momma! YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH! To top it off it was a Sesame Street themed party, so ALL her friends were there. We were climbing, running, swinging, sliding, laughing, singing.... all of it. over and over and over again. for 2 1/2 hours. There was some eating, some drinking, all around good party times. And then we piled back into the car, for another long long long and bumpy car ride home.

Now, what happened next makes perfect sense in 20/20 hindsight. Fer was running late on Ellie's schedule, hence lunch in the car on the way to pick me up from school. How many grapes did she have? I don't know.... a few handfulls. After all that food? uh, I guess so. Oh, you gave her 2 cups of water? I gave her some applejuice too. She must have been really thirsty. Ellie, you want some Milk? Whoops! I guess that had been sitting out all day. Sorry! We'll get you some fresh milk when we get home. Aaaannnndddd Where am I going with this? BARF.

BARF BARF BARF BARF BARF. 6 or 8 times... i lost count after we pulled over in rushing traffic on the side of I94 to strip Ellie down in 30 degree weather. All I know is that it still happened 2 or 3 more times after that before we made it home. Seriously though, good times. After her bath and some bland food for dinner, you never would have known what that kid had just been through. She's a trooper. I on the other hand, had to get into my pjs at 7:30 and then went to bed super early because I just could not take it anymore. Sick with a sick(ish) kid is the pits.

In Other News:

Good thing niether one of us is any worse for the wear. I have *almost* kicked the cold, and Elliott has been chipper as all get out for more than a few days now. The scary thing is that I can see her developing a sense of humor these past few days... and I can say with some certainty that its not like mine. Watch out world... a little Fer, well here she comes.

-over and out-

Random

2006-03-13T15:46:00.000-06:00

I thought I would return to you sooner...
I thought I would take this quiet moment, while my daughter is sitting in her little pink chair, watching baby einstein, screaming eee-I-eee-I-ooo, picking her nose and eating it, to talk to you. Good times, good times.

Ok, that was at 4pm, it is now 8:25pm. As soon as i started typing Elliott was all up in my business.. Momma UP! MOMMA UP! UP! UUUUUP! Puter! Puter! MOOOOOMMMMMAAAAA.

She was a little cranky today to say the least, and every time I started to divert my attention she was all sorts of pissed. She was home with me all day because of an ear infection that has just started. And thank god I was watching for the signs this time, and we are able to send her off to school tomorrow... no extra time off for me or fer thank you.

I got a call today that I have a Dopleganger walking around the streets of Akron/Cuyahoga Falls. Creepy. Apparrently she is strikingly similar, so much so even, that upon watching her my best friend called my cell phone just to make sure that the girl would not immediately reach for a phone. Like I said, creepy.

Um, as an FYI i only have 4 more weeks of school left. I am hoping that i will once again become a normal, communicational person once all this is over. I am soooo done with the multiple tests each week, all the reports, papers, and projects. Almost free at last.

In Other News:
I keep threatening to give up GH. I say threatening because I want to give it up, I know I should give it up, and I have NO TIME to be watching all this tv, but I think I can't. I don't know how... it's just a habit... but I love it, and I love to hate it.

I have a million other things milling around in here.... I just have to do some more processing and see what comes about.

-over and out-

alexis' helmet

2006-02-28T22:03:00.000-06:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

this was supposed to be alexis' helmet, in all its neon-orange safty triangle glory... but i guess i was too tipsy to opperate my camera phone properly, and i am still too tipsy to care. I guess that means that i am drunk blogging anyway. BUT, the band that we saw tonight was too awesome to do justice to at this point... so photos and notes tomorrow.

-over and out-

Fat Tuesday

2006-02-28T21:06:00.000-06:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

I guess this is Fer, being phat. or fat. or whatever.
LMAO.

yeah

Strange day

2006-02-27T20:12:00.000-06:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Today a few girls from school and I went out and about the town checking out spa locations and the like, and a few strange things took place. One I can remember because I have this photo of it. It is the display window of a china shop. Interesting choice for adornment. I am not sure how they are selling their place settings, or if it's working. I mean, I am talking about the shop and what I saw, but I am pretty sure that I would not step foot in there for it is creeping me out, just a tad. To clarify, that mannequin is wearing a veil, lingerie, and a hula-hoop skirt in brass with china hanging from it. You tell me.

One of the other creepy/strange things is that while we were riding the escalators up there was a young child riding up infront of us, maybe 6 (but small), with a red hoodie, zipped up and the pointed hood pulled up and tight, backpack on, seemingly all alone. And when I said, (loudly) "Where is an adult attached to that child? What the hell is going on here?" (having thoughts of Brody in Mallrats...) the child turned around and made the shhhhhhhhhh face with little finger to it's lips, and what was totally creepy was the kid completely reminded me of Macaulay Culkin in The Good Son. CREEPY. And as the kid walked away, there did not seem to be an adult attached to it. Like I said, CREEPY.

I felt like I had more to say before I started this post. Maybe I burnt it all out on my previous one (see below). If I remember anything of importance, I will return. Until then, I bid you adeau.

-over and out-

If you don't know me by now....

2006-02-27T19:40:00.000-06:00

You will never ever ever know me, baaaaaby

What is your middle name? Danger (markovich)
What size is your bed? Big (cal king, check it yo)
What are you listening to? The licking of an asscrack (lilah)
What was the last thing you ate? Piggie (cheesecake)
Last person you hugged? Bean-a (Elliott)
How is the weather right now? Downright balmy (my snot froze today)
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? God (damnit)
The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? That they are opposite, ie wrong (eyes)
Do you drink? Would you like to join me? (when can we start)
Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night? Only if it is needed to stand up in a court of law. (i saw nothing, heard nothing.) (are you asking me to get on a wagon of sorts?)
Fav animal? 3 legged (beast)
Favorite season? Spring (fall)
Ever cried for no reason? Go on cry baby, cry! Cry! (no. yes. no. all 3 times.)
Last movie you watched? The United States of Leland. (seriously, and I know you have not heard of it, ok? It was alright anyway.) whole movie? And the point of watching ½ a movie is…. Riiiiight.
What book are you reading? A Million Little Pieces (Shut the Fuck up, leave the man alone already.)
Piercings? The middle of my face among others (nose)
Favorite movie? One? Only 1? Is that even possible? (I motion for the top 5 per emotional decade. Which is different than a regular decade… it’s the way you feel a decade took place. Could mean 8 months, or 15 years.)
Any pets? That’s debatable. (lilah)
Favorite flower? Alive (bright)
Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? Is this a court of law? (maybe.)
Who would you like to see right now? That depends (is time travel an option?)
Are you still friends with your ex's? That question is better posed to them I think. (maybe, some of them. Or 1 of them.)
Have you ever fired a gun? Have you been on the other end of it? (no.)
Do you like to travel by plane? As opposed to what other travel? Boat, train, again with the time machine? I totally pick time machine. (yes)
If you could be with someone right now,who would it be? You, of course. (sure!)
How many pillows do you sleep with? 3 million. Its just a room full of pillows and I open the door and fall in. (2)
Are you missing someone? As in lost? Aren’t we all lost? Oh, you meant a missing person? (this one time I filed a missing persons report when someone went to the beach and didn’t tell me.)
Do you have a tattoo? Do you even know me? Where is the hidden camera (no, its all henna.)
Do you watch cartoons on Saturday morning? I watch cartoons in the evenings. (da-da-da-da-da Dora!)
Are you hiding something from someone? Money. (aren’t you?)
Do you play an instrument? Tambourine (seriously, DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?)
Have you ever built a bomb? A bug bomb.

Abblebauce

2006-02-21T17:57:00.000-06:00

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

That's Bean, eating dinner, complete with her all-natural, organic, no sugar added cinnamon applesauce. Her favorite end to dinner. If only you could hear the giant slurping noises that she is making right now. If she was not as small and cute, it would be absolutely disgusting. Seriously.

Old school, monday morning

2006-02-20T07:12:00.000-06:00

Elliott is not in school today since its President's day and her teachers have an in-service day. How funny is that. I remember when I was little, I prayed for the in-service days. Or any day for that matter that somehow, someway, my ass didn't have to go to school. Much unlike other mom's, my mom prayed for the same thing. My being in school caused her way more unrest than if she would have had to just stay at home and man me herself. I guess it would be safe to say, that school and I, well... we just did not get along.

So I am trying to change my ways with Elliott. She LOVES school. LOVES it. I drop her off in the morning, and I do not have to think twice about how she is, if she's ok, is she having a good time. When I first started at AVEDA, my biggest fear was that I would get out of school late and end up late to pick her up. She would think her momma had abandoned her forever, and therefore be scarred for life and hate school with as much passion as a toddler can have. And we all know that toddlers are nothing if not passionate, and she's mine... so like, you do the math.

Anyway, 2 months ago, I got out of school kinda early, there was no traffic, and I was early getting Ellie. I get there, all excited to see her for a little extra time, and she is screaming at me, full of anger that it's time to go. All of her friends were still there, and she wanted to stay and play with them. Yeah, she loves school. Yesterday when we drove by school, she saw the bright yellow sign, and she started yelling "Skuuuul! Skuuuul! Skuuul MOMMA!"

So today is an old school morning, the mornings we used to have before all this scool stuff started. We just had breakfast, and now we're watching blues clues in our pjs. Good times right?We've got a nice little monday planned with playing, watching her favotite shows, and maybe we'll go to target, maybe not, I don't know... we might not have enough time.

In Other News:
There's new photos up on Elliott's website. (even though it says it was not updated since 12/19.) If you need the address for her site again, email me. There some real good photos, and fun with whigs.

Do it.

-over and out-

each frame, up close

2006-02-12T10:54:00.000-06:00

A Multi Media Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.