Recap

Dear Internet,

Sorry for leaving you alone for so long yet again. I hope you still love me. Elliott & I just returned from another extended Ohio trip. This one was not filled with fun and games however... no, this one turned into the "fix-it" trip. Which, by the way, is a-ok with me... I like being handy. But after fixing the in-laws screen door, my mom's lazy susan, and a general re-org on the guest bathroom, mom's bathroom closet, the upstairs and cleaning out the garage, Maynan was left with a volkswagen sized pile to load up out of the garage. Thats after she & K had already loaded their cars up to the brim. Yeah... busy busy. (sorry about that maynan ;-) )

BUT, this is not the point. The point is that the last few days we were there, we didn't drive around too much because of all the stuff I was doing. And I had noticed that it smelled a little of sour milk, quite possibly Ellie had spilled some milk in the car and we needed to get the car detailed upon our return to Chicago. But no... it could not be so simple. Being married for 6 years now, you would think I would recognize a Fer sabatoge when I smell one.

Right. Fer.... I go to pack up the car Monday morning, in the rain, and open the car to the smell of rotting flesh. Thats right folks, not a mild garbage smell... a dead carcass in the trunk kind of smell. So I am standing in the driveway, ripping everything out of the car while shouting "THIS HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT DAMN FER, I KNOW IT!" After a few minutes of searching, I found it. Tupperware, under the front seat, FROM FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 16. It is now Monday September 26 when I locate it. 10 days. TEN DAYS! WTF i ask you. Who does things like this? FER, its always Fer.

So i pack the car, in the rain, with all the doors open, praying that the smell dissapates before I have to put Ellie in the car. I pray that the smell does not permiate our clothing while driving, so that at a rest stop someone does not call the State Highway Patrol and report that a mother and child smell like dead body... maybe she has the body of her husband in the trunk of the car! And possibly, if he would have been near me when i found "the gift" it could have been true.

I call Fer to lament this to him... the drive with a crying baby who won't sleep because IT FUCKING STINKS IN HERE! And he says (i truely can't believe he said this) "Ooohhh, riiiight. You know, when I got back to Chicago I thought about that... I just forgot to call you and tell you it was under there. Oh well." And then he laughed. LAUGHED! So I picked his ass up from work, 6 hours later, and he opended the car door and said "Oh my god, it stinks in here."

And it woke the crazy, angry bag-lady in me... "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I TOLD YOU IT F-ING STINKS IN HERE, I FREAKING CALLED YOU AND TOLD YOU WHAT YOU DID, DID YOU THINK I WAS LYING SHE'S BEEN CRYING ALL DAY BECAUSE IT STINKS IN HERE, I COULDN'T EAT BECAUSE IT STINKS IN HERE, IT FREAKING STINKS IN HERE AND I HAVE 1/2 A MIND TO MAKE YOU SLEEP IN THE CAR TONIGHT."

Other than that, Hi, and we're glad to be home.

In Other News:

We had Chetty & Debbie over for the first fall dinner last night, all from scratch... Turkey meatloaf, mashed red-skin potatoes, salad, pumpkin bread w/cream cheese frosting & granny smith apples with caramel sauce. Fer asked me if I picked up a coke habit while i was in Ohio... not so much. Just love fall.

I have almost 2 full weeks of TiVo to catch up on. Sing it with me... I love technology...

-over and out-