Well, now we know.

Its 9:10 pm and Fer is just now tucking The Bean into bed. This afternoon Ellie and I went over to Katochanel's and Fer joined us after work for dinner. Everyone was in a good mood, and when we arrived home, I told Fer to get Elliott changed, I would feel Lilah and head up with a bottle to finish putting Ellie to bed. No big deal right?

Well, when I emerge from the basement I hear this through the baby monitor: "Oh God, Oh Fuck, Oh God." So I immediately yell up "What the hell is going on up there?!?!" (like that will make whatever is wrong any better, but I digress). The answer to my question of what the hell was wrong, is now what we know....

1. Not only will Lilah yack up full rib bones in the middle of the living room, they also give her the shits. Since yesterday there have been a number of too-wet-to-handle poos in the backyard that have been hosed down. We were hoping that the worst was behind us since today went by with nary an episode, but, this leads me to #2

2. Its official, Lilah hates Elliott. How do I know this you might ask? Did the dog learn to speak while we were out for the afternoon? Not quite. Some of you may already see where this is going, others need it spelled out. I am sad to say Fer would not let me take photos, but...

3. With many other options made available, that damn dog made her way past the baby gate at the bottom of the steps, went up to Ellie's room, AND BLASTED ASS IN THERE WHILE WE WERE AWAY!!!! The "Oh Gods" and "What the f**k's" that I heard were Fer's disgust at the shitpiles in Elliott's room.

Now, you may be wondering if the dog is still alive. Honestly, I would have killed her, but Elliott was laughing so much at Fer & I, knowing full well something was amiss, that it gave me just enough joy to get down on my hands and knees and scrub shit. That kid, for whatever reason, thinks poopy is real funny.

Lilah, you better watch it, thats all I have to say.

-over and out-