Who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear...

Its been a long time friends. Its been awhile since I took comfort, found an outlet, had the written word to help me think it out, come to terms with this life as it keeps unfolding around us all.

And this thing we call Life? Well, I found out this year that it can straight up, be a mind-fuck.

My life is good. I consider myself a blessed person, and I am grateful with every single fiber of my being of the exponential wonder and good i see and get to experience in this existence of mine. I am surrounded by people and things that teach me and help me grow in every way, almost every day. It's all about the evolution, right? And I knew starting this year, there were going to be some challenges, but also some great accomplishments headed our way. What I was not prepared for, was the level of challenges and the rapid spiritual and emotional evolution that was about to take place.

And I am not going to go into detail about it all. not here, not just yet. its all too fresh. But, needless to say, I've changed and grown more as person this year, than possibly over all the past 10 years combined, and I've watched it happen in the people around me as well. But did I really want this push? Was i looking for the emotional upheaval so that i could get to some of my core issues and work through them? Well, spiritually speaking, I maintain a feeling of gratitude to be able to work through things and lead an authentic life, so to speak. But did i really want to be faced with so much, so fast, while watching similar things unfold in the lives of my loved ones? Nah, not so much.

So god with a little g: I get it. The message is coming through loud and clear. What I want to be clear on is this: I'll do all the work that needs done. I will continue to evolve through each one of these changes and challenges. But the message has been received, and i would sincerely appreciate it if you could STOP SENDING THE SIGNALS, LIKE NOW.

2009 has been too much. I'm hitting my load limit, and most of the people around me are as well. So could you just fucking lay off for like a minute?

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Today, I hold my dear friend M.G. in my heart, surrounded by love, while she and her family deal with the loss of her niece. A daughter, a granddaughter, a big sister, a beacon of light and love and pure joy. I am so, so sorry for your loss, and words can not even begin to express the sorrow in my heart.