2,000 miles. . . and then what?

So, when shit hits the fan, it sure knows how to fly. Its hard being all torn up about stuff, and then walking around like there is not a care in the world. Because its hard to carry baggage around with you, day in and day out. But sometimes things require more thought and contemplation and. . . lo and behold, baggage.

Somehow I knew that I would get 2,000 miles closer to my 1st home base and i would feel like it was not close enough. Case in point, this weekend Rach-o was back in o-HI-o as things were going haywire in family land. Of course my first instinct is to get in the car and be right there. Not to do anything mind you, just to be. But, practicality outweighed, and here i am.

Ok, here goes, I am just gonna lay it out there:

One of my grandmothers is sick. Like, quite sick. The big 'C'. Its strange when you think there is a course of events that will unfold in somenone's life, and not that you expect that string of things to be good mind you ( i mean, my grandma has never taken care of herself per se) but what ends up happening is no where near what you thought would happen. You know? I mean, when you are already preparing yourself for bad things to come, how is it that life can still blindside you? Strange. My daughter is the 5th generation of 1st born daughters born to 1st born girls, and I think that is really amazing.

I realize that I never really talk about my Dad (Ta) on here that much. I think its because he is a really private person. Although i know he does not read this, because its out there in the land of the internet... well, I just wonder about things that are said. Anyway, to say he is having a rough time would be a gross understatement. Thank god he has "the group" because his outlook is the best that it can be. But... worry is worry... what can you do. Hang in there Ta...

In Other News:

Ellie and I joined a mommy & me class today with our (one and only friend so far) Emily. I am hoping good things to come, i swear. I think it will help with not feeing so isolated, as well as just having people to chat with mommy stuff about. Not like i dont now, but, well, its good to hear what other mothers are going through and how they handle stuff. I feel bad sometimes lying to friends when they ask if I am taking time for myself, getting out of the house and spending time with Fer. Have you gone out to dinner just the 2 of you? Um, let me think, that would be no. As in, No, i have not gone out to dinner period. With, or without the child. Have you been making time for yourself? Hmmm, If you mean making time to email and update my blog by myself, or watch some (albeit great) mindless TV that my pal TiVo saved for me, then yes... I have time to myself a few times a week. And how do i feel about all of this? Lousy. Do i have plans for improvement? Well. . . Don't we all?

-over and out-