Workin' it out

Yesterday, as an "adventure", Auntie Liz and I thought we'd take the girls shopping at the outdoor outlet mall since it was a nice, balmy late fall afternoon. Elliott was on fire, due to many factors...
1. Kindergarten is no freaking joke. They work those kids pretty hard these days, it's all day, and come Friday afternoon, that kid is SPENT. Like Woah. Case in point, she got to pick out of the "prize box" for having such a good week, and she got a pack of gummies. 1 dropped out of her hand while we were driving from school and she had a 4-alarm melt down STOP STOP STOP, I DROPPED MY PURPLE GUMMY! I CANT FIND IT! WAAAAAHHHHH. complete with crocodile tears. Great, so this is how the weekend is going to start....
2. she "chose not to eat lunch." Yeah, that's what she told me. She CHOSE not to. no big deal. Didn't wanna. She aparrently wasn't "interested" in her mac n' cheese. "Nah, not really. Not today." Try explaining to a 5 year old that she is melting down and being absolutely unreasonable because she is "Hangry" (hungry+angry=hangry) it brings about a whole other list of am nots, will not, and blah blah blah.

Add in Auntie Liz trying desperately to add light to the situation, and take some stress off me so I don't go Batshit crazy and start spewing some nonsense at Elliott that probably equates to some version of mind control just to get her to shut it for a moment and you get this kind of senario:

Auntie Liz: "blah blah blah, just stop listening to her. Lets get to dinner, she'll eat and it will be fine."
Elliott, from the back seat, hearing this exchange and not able to keep from putting her 2 cents in: "Auntie Liz! Stop talking rude to my Mommy! Beacuse you did that, now you have to sniff my feet! Mine are totally gross and stinky, just like yours!"

No. I'm not making this up. This is apparrently what Elliott deems as appropriate punishment for rudeness, and I am going to go out on a limb here and blame it soley on her father. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.

Elliott, one day you are either going to love me or hate me for having a record of all this nonsense. All I know is that no matter how you feel about it, this is going to be the thing that gives me comfort when you are a teenager and hate me for sometimes good, and for sometimes no reason. When you are older and starting a family of your own, have moved away, or don't have time, I will be able to come here and remember that when you were 5 years old, you swore up and down of 2 things:

1. you are NEVER going to drive. NEVER. you want me to drive you everywhere, for the rest of your life.
2. you are NEVER EVER EVER going to live in a house without me. You think it would be best if we live together forever.

And one day, if all goes according to plan, you are going to look at this and laugh your ass off.
ily

-over and out-