it hurts me more than it hurts you....

Elliott turned 5 in August, which means that this fall she started kindergarten. And being that we don't really have any friends with kids that are older than ours, no one really hipped us to the fact that school changes everything. EVERYTHING.

I mean, I could go on and on about the selfish reasons for why its changed everything... we can't just pick up and go on vacation or a long weekend away whenever we feel like it. I can't roll out of bed whenever I want and get her to school sometime between 9 and 10 because it feels better not to rush in the mornings. No. Now there are things like tardy bells, morning announcements, classroom disruption and sick days.

What the what?!?!?!?

Oh yeah, its been a blast, let me tell you. But also, the thing no one has told you about? Kindergarten? Its not all coloring and play time and lets all get cozy hear a story and take a nap. NOPE. They actually expect the kids to learn! Can you believe it?!?!? LOL. Oh yeah, kindergarten these days is what I remember as 1st grade. Reading, writing, math and science. Elliott's a champ and has really taken to it all. She is already reading harder text and longer books, adding all the time, and really interested in science and "experiements." (Which means I have to now put just about anything liquid under lock and key... she's also into cooking shows on TV, so its like a double-whammy disaster of liquid proportions that I have to fend off just about every day after school.)

And with all that learning she is so eager about? Well, it comes with a very tired, very crabby mind and body by the time she gets home. 8:15 - 2:30 is a LOOOONNNGG day for the "just 5".
So, every day when I pick the kid up from school, I never know what kind of emotional bullet I am going to try and dodge. And then, to top it off, she has found the wonderment of lying. Oh yeah.

Elliott, where's your sandwich? "I ate it." All the way to the crust? "Yep! I even ate the crust!" Really. 2 hours later, throwing something away, who ate the sammich? The garbage can, that's who.

At school: Elliott did you finish your work and put it in the done pile? "Yep!" Ok then, go play! Only to find at grading time that the front side was completed, face up, and the back side had not been touched. So.... no school play time. THEN she gets caught trying to throw her work away and says: "Oh MY! The mechevious little fairy must have come and thrown my work away! That Fairy! what are we going to do with her?!?"

I wish I was making this shit up. But no, that is word for word what her teacher told me when we had a conference this week. So you know what happened? Oh yeah, I pulled a tool out of my parent's toolbox. Their favorite one as a matter of fact, in dealing with me, probably because it doesn't get you arrested. GROUNDING.

Oh yeah, my 5 year old has been grounded all week. No tv. NONE.

Its not like we watch a lot of tv here... actually, its hardly ever on. But, when I need it so I can catch a 20 minute catnap in the afternoon while the baby is sleeping, its a godsend. Or, when I am trying to get dinner together, its an instant babysitter and that's a good thing. Or god forbid I want to make 1 uninterrupted phone call that can last for more than 5 minutes... TV it is!

Yes, this really does hurt me more than it hurts you. TRUST ME.

I will say however, sticking to my guns has made a much more enjoyable household, and man, that tv time will never have been so sweet to Elliott as when she gets home tonight from school and finally gets to watch a show.

In Other (somewhat related) News:

Yesterday I went all over hell and half'a Georgia to find a suitable Christmas dress for Elliott to wear for our annual holiday card photo, and found an adorable and fancy dress for the little princess. It was amazing, and on sale. WOOT! So I show it to her, and mention that once Daddy was home she could try it on, make sure she liked it and it fit, and until then, it would be hanging in MY CLOSET, not to be touched.

So I said, go upstairs and play quietly while your sister sleeps and I get dinner started, then i will be up to read with you. Ok? (cause see here is where i would keep an eye on her and have her watch a show while I prepare dinner, so she doesn't get in trouble.... but no TV so.... I have to trust her.)

And what does she do? Get into my closet using 2 boxes and her stepping stool. Get the dress down. Take it into HER closet, rip the tags off, and change into it. Comes down to the kitchen so excited about her beautiful new dress that she CAN'T STAND THIS THING IS SOOOO ITCHY!!!! TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK! But, where are the tags? Elliott, you can't take things back without tags! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING GETTING INTO MY CLOSET IN THE FIRST PLACE I SAID LEAVE IT ALONE FOR A REASON WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh yeah, can you say Lunitic? I said the dress was on sale, I did not however say that it was cheap. Catch my drift? And I will be goddamned if i am going to listen to her bitch at me THAT SHE IS TOO ITCHY! while i am trying to wrangle the most un-wrangleable of babies through a christmas card photo this weekend.

But alls well that ends well. I will not be arrested for beating my child because the gods were smiling down upon the little golden-haired wonder this week, as somehow the little plastic tag did not break, did not rip the fabric of the new dress, and I was miraculously able to put it all back together and return the beautiful, itchy dress. Once I calmed down long enough to look at her without wanting to scream, I told her she was super, super lucky. SUPER LUCKY. She looked up at me and half smiled and just said: "I know."

-over and out-