long lost internet posts vol 2

oct 31, 2007

Aaaaawwwww Shit

Current mood:indifferent

Good day to you and Happy Halloween.

Last night I had one of those nights where it all seemed to have gone terribly wrong. Somewhere within the twilight began an emotional rollercoaster that I don't remember purchasing tickets for. The Child was throwing tantrum after ungodly tanrum, full body throwing on the floor, hands flailing and the like. They would not end. And I have no clue where they were coming from, so there was nothing I could do but walk away. Thats the smart thing, right? Cuz last time I checked, you're still not supposed to shake the shit out of them.

However, I was Saved by a Friend, some music, a Sister and escape.... the night turned itself around. Became enjoyable. I came home to a beautiful, sleeping child. And I woke this a.m. thinking, today, today will be better. All is erased, and we have started over. Awesome.

And then I got in a car accident.

8:40am, kid melting down in the backseat about the sun in her eyes, I slammed into the car infront of me. Word up. Thanks Halloween. Thanks Mercury in Retrograde. Thanks to my 1/2caffinated self for not paying close enough attention.

The last time I felt this way was 10 years ago, the morning of my 20th birthday, when i rear-ended someone after sliding on black ice. The night before I had died my hair hot pink, as the last hurrah for my "teenage" years and hated it. I ended up with 1/4in shaved head & raw scalp from trying to wash it all out. I got all fucked up from not wearing my seatbelt and the first person to wish me happy birthday was the cop as he handed me back my license & my ticket. He also happened to be my mother's former high school boyfriend. Thank you small town & good times.

So, thats it for me today. No one is injured this time, the car is being repaired as we speak, and I am keep my lunch date with an old friend.

So, I hope your Halloween is better, I hope on this last day of Mercury in Retrograde you can escape unscathed. Tomorrow.... tomorrow is yet another day, but I'm gonna see if I can't get out there and keep THIS DAY from kicking my ass on PRINCIPLE.

-over and out-

feb 12, 2008

31 Bitches!

Current mood:adventurous

I don't know what's happened to me.... but for forever and a day i have greatly disliked my birthday. Not in the, "I hate my birthday.... (wish me happy birthday)" kinda way, but in the all out, acting out, somwhat rage-filled, antsy disgust kinda way. And I know that bothers people, i get that. But whatever, for the most part its just another day anyway, and whats in a number blah blah blah.

And then last year, I could feel my excitement brewing months before the big day. Some people freak out at the mere thought of getting older, and I looked 30 in the face and was never happier. I have never felt better (for the most part) and really feel like I am finally coming into my own.

So here we are, on the eve of 31, and again.... things feel good. I am not trying to skip out on a party, or ignore plans that are arising.... I feel GOOD. And this time, I AM getting tattooed again. Last year never came to fruition with the move and all, but i am in the throws of actively pursuing an artist and we will be off and running.

Oh, and did I mention its been 43 days since I had a drink? Or that I have been going to the gym 6 days a week for the past 5 weeks? We'll see where this leads me.....

Clarity.... its interesting.
-over and out-