I am on just this side...

... of a very fine line.

I am sorry, dear Internet. I had all these grand plans of spending time and updating to you while we were laying around and eating tons of Turkey this fine Thanksgiving weekend. I thought that with all the wonderful wine being supplied by KatoChanel I would be witty and entertaining and share with you all the interesting, charming and glorious things that have been taking place since I moved to this new big city. I thought that with my youngest sister (Pooh-ba-bubbinchinski, there... it's coined) and her boy-toy (you know we love you Crunchy) available to sit with Elliott long enough for me to sneak away that I would do indeed that. But instead we shopped, sat around, and in general just watched Elliott all together for whatever fun new thing she was going to do next. Well, that and laughed at me as I got puked on. And I mean seriously. It was in my hair, on my face, down my back, and all AFTER I had showered. Awesome. We had a great time, but that left me little time for you, sweet internet.

And now, as I finally have the time to sit here and think, I am on just this side of a very fine line. Witty is not coming to mind, and I can't get the damn photos that I wanted to share from this weekend to upload to this piece-of-shit-dell, what else is new. Anyway, here is where the disclaimer is for this post...
DISCLAIMER: I need to rant for a few, and this is where I feel comfortable now, like it or not, since I threw my diary away in the 8th grade. It may not be too funny this time, but I need it, so stop reading now if you don't want to be let down. For those of you who are too curious to quit, do not say i did not warn you. . .

So, I have lived in Chicago now for 1 month and 4 days. We still made the right choice, but I was underestimating how overwhelming it is moving to a new city. I think in the past 5 years the bleak, hard and overwhelming feelings I had that 1st year in LA started to go all soft around the edges. Living here is going to be great, once I can remember to get from here to there without getting lost.

Some days are more tiring than others, and today was one of the more draining. Elliott is amazing, and each day she grows more aware and more like a little person. But it is none the less consuming and tiring engaging her every day. I miss having those moments of just getting out for a little while without worrying about the amount of crap that I have to bring with me or if she is going to need fed while I am out. I miss going out at night. I miss hanging out somewhere other than my apartment. Its not bad, but I am just being honest. Its a lot to take in all at once. And since Fer is playing open mics and shows now, Its all the more realization of all the time I spend here with her. But, on the brighter side, i have a night out on the town planned this coming weekend... I am going dancing. Word.

Being closer to family is indeed a blessing, but with Christmas quickly approaching, there is a weight pressing down. Not having gone home in 5 years for a holiday has given us a freedom that most people do not get to experience. Now I am feeling as though those 2,000 miles we just moved to be closer is viewed as still not close enough, but there is really nothing more that I can do.

And finally, illness is an ugly beast. Both of my Grandmothers have been ill as of late, one a little worse than the other. I love them both, and I only hope they are on the mend as soon as possible. If you pray, maybe give a small shout out to whomever it is you feel is lookin out on both their behalfs. Thanks.

In Other News:

Tivo is the best invention ever. I have not missed an episode of scrubs, gilmore, OR General Hospital since I got it, and I am SO IN LOVE. However, if someone could just fill me in on what happend to Sam's baby and how Carly & Sonny are getting divorced AGAIN this month I would be eternally grateful.

Thanks for listening internet, I feel a lot better. Maybe I will try and tackle those photos again.

-over and out-