Well, now we know.

Its 9:10 pm and Fer is just now tucking The Bean into bed. This afternoon Ellie and I went over to Katochanel's and Fer joined us after work for dinner. Everyone was in a good mood, and when we arrived home, I told Fer to get Elliott changed, I would feel Lilah and head up with a bottle to finish putting Ellie to bed. No big deal right?

Well, when I emerge from the basement I hear this through the baby monitor: "Oh God, Oh Fuck, Oh God." So I immediately yell up "What the hell is going on up there?!?!" (like that will make whatever is wrong any better, but I digress). The answer to my question of what the hell was wrong, is now what we know....

1. Not only will Lilah yack up full rib bones in the middle of the living room, they also give her the shits. Since yesterday there have been a number of too-wet-to-handle poos in the backyard that have been hosed down. We were hoping that the worst was behind us since today went by with nary an episode, but, this leads me to #2

2. Its official, Lilah hates Elliott. How do I know this you might ask? Did the dog learn to speak while we were out for the afternoon? Not quite. Some of you may already see where this is going, others need it spelled out. I am sad to say Fer would not let me take photos, but...

3. With many other options made available, that damn dog made her way past the baby gate at the bottom of the steps, went up to Ellie's room, AND BLASTED ASS IN THERE WHILE WE WERE AWAY!!!! The "Oh Gods" and "What the f**k's" that I heard were Fer's disgust at the shitpiles in Elliott's room.

Now, you may be wondering if the dog is still alive. Honestly, I would have killed her, but Elliott was laughing so much at Fer & I, knowing full well something was amiss, that it gave me just enough joy to get down on my hands and knees and scrub shit. That kid, for whatever reason, thinks poopy is real funny.

Lilah, you better watch it, thats all I have to say.

-over and out-

This is how we clean up the toys

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Crazy is as crazy does

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.


Having had one of the most intense and bizzare weeks in recent memory I spent this weekend celebrating. I wish I could go into further detail, but I find it may not be wise as it could be used against me in a court of law as an anti-defamation suit, so.... sorry. Buuuutttt, there are a few tidbits that I can share:

Markovicious & Sally came into town for the weekend so that they could have a break and share in Rach-o's birfday celebrations. Yes, celebrations plural. Saturday night was "Ladies Night" over at KatoChanel's abode, as her men-folk are off on a testosterone fest fishin' in the wilderness of Canada. So... the Champagne, wine and food was a'flowin, as was our chattiness, sing-a-longs, and an amazing interpretive dance collective that had the neighbors glued to the windows. At 2:30 am, after Kato painted the neighbor's lawn with ice cream and having waited an hour for our cab, we were on our way home. Markovicious thinks its the way the cabbie was driving, not any other factors (wink wink) as to why she decorated OUR neighbor's lawn with a brightly colored display. Hot, I know.

Yesterday we (I) grilled up a ton of chicken & veggie kabobs and made 3 crockpots of pork ribs for Rach-o's B-day BBQ hosted here at the Carter Ranch. It was a good time, and the hair of the dog helped us all to conquor what was left of the hangovers being nursed. BUT, this is not what is important about yesterday's events. THIS is why there is a photo of carnage on this website today:

Upon cleaning up last night, Fer decided that he wanted to taste some of the ribs and made himself a nice sized plate. He let the dog up to wander around and proceeded to fiddle around on the computer. Was he tipsy and forgot he had a plate of ribs on the counter with a food-whore of a pitbul milling about the house? I am not sure, we will have to let him tell his story later. All I know is that there was some lip happening when I asked if he meant to let the dog eat a plate of ribs. I think you can see where I am going with this....

This photo is the rib, minus the barf, that I cleaned off of/out of the carpet today. 2 1/4 inches with one pointy-ass side. All I can say is its amazing the dog is not dead, and I am afraid it is not over.

But do not fret, dear internet, I will post more photos should other bones rise from the dead.

-over and out-

Weekend in re-wind

I can't remember the last time I had such a jam-packed weekend that did not include a wedding or a birth. I also can't remember the last time I did shots.... but maybe it was because of the drink, not how long ago it was. Ha ha.

Get this, Friday night Fer and I went out. As in OUT out. To a bar, with normal people, without the bebe. To see Hamell On Trial, who not only kicked some serious ass, played one of the best shows I have seen in recent memory. I mean serious ass kickin. If you do not know of Mr. Hamell, get on it, score Choochtown and absorb.

Anyway, out with Chetty, Debbie, Rach-o, Her pal & Kevin (fer's boy-friend) I had a few beers, and then (a-hem) 2 shots of Blackhaus with Debbie. Clearly I thought I was Mombi for the evening, and thank god Fer let me sleep in on Saturday morning. Ya feel me? Riiiight. Well, I suppose it was well worth it, like a bonding experience for the sisters-in-laws, but um, I think thats the last time shots are gonna happen for me. At least I didn't barf, that is totally the silver lining.

The rest of the weekend was nice and laidback... we just hung around like married people with kids do, and it was wonderful. Some crazy storms blew in and Ellie was real excited to see lightning. Seriously, she told me. Well, she said "cat" all excited over and over while it was happening. So, what I deciphered was "Momma, lightening and thunder is amazing! Look at the trees bend! What is going on here? I like it, I like it." Not bad for 10 months, right?

In Other News:

Netflix and I have finally gotten back together. I am so sorry its taken me so long to come back to you. Before I realized how much I hate the local Hollywood Video idiots who rented to me, I thought I was actually enjoying walking to the video store and renting movies. Cuz like, you cant walk anywhere in LA. BUT, now that I am back with you my sweet, sweet Netfilx, I enjoy walking past Hollywood and flicking them off with joy in my heart. Oh, how I've missed you.

-over and out-

Bathing Babe-o-lina of the pool

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

Shiner

A Picture Share!, originally uploaded by nonobaddao.

I forgot to mention, or photograph it, but on the left, check out what's left of the bebe's 1st shiner. Nice huh?

New Shoes...

frog prince, or princess?

Legal

So I went all over downtown today to make myself a legal chicagoian (or whatever the term may be). After only missing 2 questions for my license, and having Grandy's mom pull some strings so that I did not have to stand in line at the DMV or Plates&Registration I handed over $157 to the state and $75 for parking to the county clerk. Then I went and handed over another $23 for for 2 hours of parking while I accomplished it all. Tell me that's not some left-over mob racket. Overall I still think it was much easier than any of the interactions I had with the Los Angeles DMV over 5 years.... seriously. And I walked out of there with my license in hand, not spending almost 5 months fighting with the state about what state of limbo my identification is in... but thats another story.

Along with making things more permanent, I have decided to go back to school. Well, in a manner of speaking... to the Aveda Institute so that I can learn to pick professionally. Ha ha. And satisfy my inner "monkey" as my sisters like to call it. At least I think. Or, at least, I applied and have an informal interview next week. So I am pretty sure. I'm taking babysteps. I am now accepting applications for our nanny position.... English a must, housekeeping a plus. LMAO.

In Other News:

Oh - My - God. Did you see General Hospital yesterday? Carly is out of her friggin mind and that asswhooping between Sam & Carly was AWESOME. Sam totally kicked Carly's ass. She may be a pixy, but they totally made her into a shitkicker. Fer was so pissed that I deleted the episode from TiVo before he got the chance to see it, and I admit, that was wrong of me. Buuuutttt, well, sometimes paybacks are a bitch. ;-)

-over and out-